Listening to the radio on my way home from Provo Art and Frame, I heard a commercial for a popular jewelry store. There seem to be three key messages in jewelry store ads:

1) we have the best price
2) we have the best selection
3) you need to buy jewelry in order to have a happy relationship.

Ultimately, unless you’re convinced of point #3, points #1 and #2 have little effect on you. I, for one, am CONVINCED that the best prices are to be found at The Shane Company, and that’s without having done the first bit of comparison shopping. That’s just based on their commercials, which annoy the tri-color gold bejeesus out of me, but which have convinced me nonetheless. I’m immune to their wiles, though, because I know that #3 is a load of four-color horse-pucky.

Back to the commercial I was listening to. It was for the “Jarah” jewelry stores, which I’ve put in quotes because I’ve never seen the name in print, Google turns up nothing on the various spellings I’ve tried, and I’m not about to spend more than two minutes getting the name right for a store I have no intention to set foot in.

The commercial: it was aimed at #3. They wanted to convince me that buying jewelry would be good for my relationship with my wife or girlfriend. Yes, this ad was targeted at MEN. I could tell because they had a man in the “testimonial” slot, and he was doing a good job of sounding like the sort of everyman who-is-really-special-but-don’t-tell-the-guys man. And he told me that he told her he loved her, but that actions speak louder than words.

What he really wanted me to believe was that for the elements PURCHASES, ACTIONS, and WORDS, PURCHASES = ACTIONS > WORDS. Or, for the less geeky (what ARE you doing sniffing around a Live Journal on the internet, anyway?) “Money can buy you love.”

*sigh*. Yes, actions speak louder than words. You want her to know you love her? Don’t SAY something nice. DO something nice, and then don’t go out of your way calling attention to it. I had an ecclesiastical leader once who shocked his congregation of 1st-year college students by saying “I love my family far more than I love any of you.” The kids were horrified — we thought this guy was our best friend. Well, he followed up by saying “This is because I have served them much longer than I have served you. We learn to love as we learn to serve.”

The pathetic thing is that I think the folks writing that Jarah ad may actually BELIEVE that money can be substituted for genuine service. At least I HOPE so. That way I can console myself in the thought that they’re ignorant, rather than evil.

–Howard

The overall Linucon Schedule has been posted. My participation is as follows:

FRIDAY:
3:00pm-4:00pm — The Art Show opens. I’ll have a 4’x4′ display space with about a dozen originals up for the auction. The show runs all weekend, closing its doors at 3:30 Sunday.
4:00pm-5:00pm — Opening Ceremonies. I’ll be there with Wil Wheaton, Eric Raymond, Eric Flint, and Steve Jackson.
5:30pm-6:30pm — “Celebrity Munchkin”. Steve Jackson, Wil Wheaton, Eric Raymond, Eric Flint and I all play “Munchkin” to determine which GoH is the biggest munchkin. I’m betting it’s either Steve or Wil, but you know I’ll give them a run for my money.
7:30pm-8:00pm — they’re making Ovalqwik-flavored Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream in the Con Suite. You know I’ll be there.
10:00pm-11:00pm — “Obligatory Linux vs. Microsoft” panel. Ah, my old Novell life rears its head. You know I’ll be able to say what I REALLY think here, of course.

SATURDAY
10:00am-11:00am –” Linux on the Desktop” with Cathy Raymond.
11:30am-12:30pm — “Introduction to Geek Culture” panel with Cathy Raymond and Wil Wheaton.
2:30pm-3:30pm — “Hacking Food” panel with Jay “Tron Guy” Maynard. I’ll be making Chupaquesos.
4:00pm-5:00pm — “How to Draw” panel. Dunno who’s on this with me. Apparently I’ve fooled the world into thinking that at some point in the last four years I’ve learned to draw.
5:30pm-6:30pm — Art Show Tour. Lemme show off my stuff to you, so you can pay top dollar for my Schlock. Like this one or maybe a nice F’Sherl-Ganni.
7:00pm-8:00pm — “How to Write” panel with Rie Sheridan and Lawrence Person.
8:00pm-9:30pm — The Masquerade… I’ll be one of the judges (insert evil grin here).
11:30pm-12:30am — I’m going to sit in on the “Hosting a Webcomic” panel. I’m not a hosting expert, but I’d like to see what’s getting said here.

SUNDAY
10:00am-11:00am — “Novell, GroupWise, and Linux.” My old schtick, with some new twists. “Ex-Novell insider” the program book calls me.
11:30am-12:30pm — “Schlock Mercenary.” This is my “everything you wanted to know about the Schlockiverse” panel. Or something like that.
1:00pm-2:30pm — The Banquet. It’s at kind of an odd time, but this is where a few select guests get to pay for the chance to eat with the Guests of Honor.
3:30pm-4:00pm — Art Show Closes. I’ll be there to collect my paycheck (insert hopeful smile).
4:00pm-5:00pm — “Feedback Session” for the convention. I’m pretty sure I’ll be there.

Looking this over…. man, am I ever booked. During my copious free time I’ll be meeting with fans, shmoozing with fellow guests, and hopefully sitting in the Dealer’s Room next to hawklady doing original artwork for buttons. I need to figure out where those slices are, because they’re pretty short, as far as I can tell.

Regardless, I’m really looking forward to this.

–Howard

So I ordered the “How to Draw Manga” book on coloring original drawings. The book had a lot of cheesy, silly stuff in it (like being narrated by Manga characters), but it also had some useful information. Probably not $30 worth of useful information, but I managed to crank out something pretty cool after reading the book cover-to-cover.

Something Cool

I took an old picture of a F’Sherl-Ganni (the Gatekeeper aliens with the bifurcated limbs) and decided to color it. Why? Two reasons:

1) It’s on Copic paper already. It’s BEGGING to be colored, because I’m out of that paper and wanted to see how the markers do on their home turf.
2) It’ll fetch more at the Linucon Art Auction if it’s in color.

Well, here it is, hopefully fetching more