“Actions speak louder than words”

Listening to the radio on my way home from Provo Art and Frame, I heard a commercial for a popular jewelry store. There seem to be three key messages in jewelry store ads:

1) we have the best price
2) we have the best selection
3) you need to buy jewelry in order to have a happy relationship.

Ultimately, unless you’re convinced of point #3, points #1 and #2 have little effect on you. I, for one, am CONVINCED that the best prices are to be found at The Shane Company, and that’s without having done the first bit of comparison shopping. That’s just based on their commercials, which annoy the tri-color gold bejeesus out of me, but which have convinced me nonetheless. I’m immune to their wiles, though, because I know that #3 is a load of four-color horse-pucky.

Back to the commercial I was listening to. It was for the “Jarah” jewelry stores, which I’ve put in quotes because I’ve never seen the name in print, Google turns up nothing on the various spellings I’ve tried, and I’m not about to spend more than two minutes getting the name right for a store I have no intention to set foot in.

The commercial: it was aimed at #3. They wanted to convince me that buying jewelry would be good for my relationship with my wife or girlfriend. Yes, this ad was targeted at MEN. I could tell because they had a man in the “testimonial” slot, and he was doing a good job of sounding like the sort of everyman who-is-really-special-but-don’t-tell-the-guys man. And he told me that he told her he loved her, but that actions speak louder than words.

What he really wanted me to believe was that for the elements PURCHASES, ACTIONS, and WORDS, PURCHASES = ACTIONS > WORDS. Or, for the less geeky (what ARE you doing sniffing around a Live Journal on the internet, anyway?) “Money can buy you love.”

*sigh*. Yes, actions speak louder than words. You want her to know you love her? Don’t SAY something nice. DO something nice, and then don’t go out of your way calling attention to it. I had an ecclesiastical leader once who shocked his congregation of 1st-year college students by saying “I love my family far more than I love any of you.” The kids were horrified — we thought this guy was our best friend. Well, he followed up by saying “This is because I have served them much longer than I have served you. We learn to love as we learn to serve.”

The pathetic thing is that I think the folks writing that Jarah ad may actually BELIEVE that money can be substituted for genuine service. At least I HOPE so. That way I can console myself in the thought that they’re ignorant, rather than evil.

–Howard

37 thoughts on ““Actions speak louder than words””

  1. We learn to love as we learn to serve.

    That has to be one of the better definitions of love I’ve heard. I’ve written that into my little private journal so I can refer back to it often. Thank you.

    1. yeah, as somebody who’s been questioning her faith lately, that concept really struck home. Reminds me of Jesus washing the feet… thanks, I’m going to keep it in my journal too.

  2. Well, points one and two are important if, say you happen to already want to get a piece of jewelry for someone special. At least in my case, price is important (and I do agree that Shane probably has them beat there since I see their stupid commercials here on the other side of th country as well) since I am fairly low on the “has money” scale, and well, selection means that you have a better chance to find just the right item for the lady in question. You are right that point three is invalid, but if I were looking to buy a piece of nice jewelry, I would definately want to find a store with the best combination of price, quality, and selection. I’m almost certian that there is nothing wrong with wanting to buy something nice for your partner. Stuff isn’t a replacement for service, but it is a nice addendum.

  3. Honestly, I’d believe that the ad-writers are at least cynical, if not evil, rather than ignorant. Nobody’s THAT ignorant… well, scratch that. A lot of people are that ignorant. Marketing people, though, can be evil at times. 😀

    Though the ‘money can buy you love’ thing has been a theme repeated thorugh the ages by people with more money than sense…. and has been repeated by the Diamond Cartel in order to keep their goods in high demand. Now, THOSE people I can consider evil, if only because their propaganda has helped keep some wars going through the sales of so-called blood diamonds.

  4. Advertising agencies generally know that the drivel they’re spewing is usually exaggerated or misrepresented, if not outright lies. In many cases, they’ve gone to great lengths to convincingly falsify it. (Dogfood commercials, for example. Pooch is released on to the stage and heads unerringly for the “correct” bowl, totally ignoring Brands A and B, and can’t even wait for the actor or actress to finish pouring the Tender Chunky Meaty Kibble Vittles, Now With Added Phlogiston…. what they don’t tell you is that they poured kerosene on the other two brands, and for the past three days they’ve been starving the poor dog, which is now ready to eat week-old roadkill if it can’t get anything else.) It’s unfortunately the direction the advertising industry has gone: out-lie the other guy, and cram the ad down the consumer’s throat any way you can, willing or not, or your customer will go to an agency that will. They don’t even care if they piss you off, because they figure at least you’ll remember the brand name then. They know their spiel is a crock; they’re just hoping you’re gullible enough to believe it.

    Nowever, this seems to be beginning to backfire on them. According to several sociologists I’ve read articles from, thinge like the federal Do Not Call list, increasingly strict state anti-spam laws, and the rising popularity and effectiveness of anti-spam measures are just part of a growing backlash against unsolicited advertising in all forms.

    I just wish we’d see a similar backlash against all the mudslinging political attack ads.

    1. Agreed…

      I agree. The price-controls on diamonds are artificially high, by something like an order of magnitude. That didn’t stop me from spending $1000 on a nice ring for Sandra almost 12 years ago.

      *sigh*

      1. Re: Agreed…

        Yeah, but I’m still wearing the ring and it is the only ring I ever expect you to buy for me.

        Of course the happy that I get from this ring is completely independent of the dollar price you spent.

    2. My girlfriend prefers emeralds.

      She’s never asked me for them (and refuses all jewelry except earrings), but you can only buy flowers and pocky so many times in a row…

        1. Actually, I’ve found saying it out loud and to her face works pretty well. The pocky is because she likes it. (Flowers tend to build up and take all available vases after a bit…)

  5. ‘Now YOU have a friend in the diamond business!’

    I listen to talk radio, so I know these commercials by heart. That plus a lifetime of my dad never changing the station during commercials that made me pay attention to them and I can recite these things by heart.

    Or sing the ‘Jared’ jingle.

    >___<

    I’m just glad I’ve got my husband trained well not to listen to those things. Diamonds go in the safe deposit box, and I want a gift I can use more often! And Actions=Backrubs>words. Heee.

  6. The Shane Company

    For a brief time in High School I was in a band. On the album that never got recorded (they never do) we very sincerely wanted to put a Shane Company commercial as the title track. Not the whole thing. Just the statement at the end.

    “The Shane Company. Now YOU’VE got a friend in the diamond business.

    For some reason the idea of that leading off a rock album has always made me laugh.

    I’m fairly sure that makes no sense, but I thought I’d share.

    1. Hmmm….

      I’d probably really appreciate the gesture, but what I need right now is capital, as opposed to depreciating assets. And that is a fancy way of saying “I’d be happier if you just gave me the money you spent on it instead.”

      –Howard

      1. Although…

        Although if you just want to do something nice, acts of service on my behalf, handmade fan art, and all that much-more-personal stuff also works. The money comment is only if you’re like, dead set on buying a diamond.

      2. Re: Hmmm….

        “depreciating assets,” what a great phrase. I am certainly going to have to sue that in conversation later today. Or rather tomorrow since everyone else is asleep already.

  7. Unfortunatly there are alot of people that believe that you can buy love. My mother was one of them, and would always say that I didn’t love her if I made her a gift instead of purchasing one. This is what our media is reducing us to.

  8. Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

    Two married couples I know (friends of mine) both don’t where rings. They seem to be happy. Another example of a societal thing, that when you think of it, isn’t really needed.

    1. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

      Rings are symbolic of marital unity. Symbols are nice reminders, but without the inner commitment no amount of jewelry is going to keep people happily married.

      1. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

        That reminds me of the vials of each other’s blood that Angelina Jolie and Billy-Bob Thornton were wearing around their necks. And the tatoos.

        As I recall, Billy-Bob put his vial in the fire, and Angelina threw hers out. Ahhh, marriage!

        –Howard

        1. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

          A female friend of mine from back in the mid 80s, gave me an eyelet from her shoe. I still have it on my key ring. She is also one of the friends that doesn’t wear rings. Her and her husband showed up at my open house… really cool.

      2. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

        A very close friend of mine wears a ring as what I’m fairly sure is a sign of her partnership (though I’ve never asked). I was there when she and her partner got it — at the counter of a small chintzy arcade in Vegas. I think it cost 25 prize tickets — basically, three good games of Skeeball. The anodizing’s all worn off and the edges are a bit more rounded than they were when it was new, but to my eye that’s only improved it.

    2. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

      Now you know three. 🙂

      Oddly enough, when we talk about what makes our relationship work, we utter things like “friendship” and “mutual respect.” Phrases like “last time you bought me roses” and “carats” don’t seem to get mentioned. Or implied. Or thought about.

      Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. A dog is a man’s best friend. Is this some kind of double standard?

      🙂

      1. Re: Rings Aren’t Needed, Period.

        Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. A dog is a man’s best friend. Is this some kind of double standard?

        Oh, that is SO getting put on a button when I get the presses set up again.

        Thanks!

  9. DeBeers runs a hideous little commercial of a couple in Venice, where the man starts shouting out, in the middle of a square, “I LIVE THIS WOMAN!”
    Embarrassed, she makes him stop and he says that, “Then I guess this will have to do,” and hands here a diamond ring.
    Then she hugs him and starts whispering, “I love this man.”
    What a fickle… woman. I think if I was that guy, I would be tipped off to a problem in the marriage, there.
    Of course, I also despise DeBeers, but that’s no surprise.

    1. DeBeers &c

      You wouldn’t be the only one, for a variety of corporate/ethical/financial reasons, but the ad sounds much like any of the others they push out on a regular basis. Although, to be honest, I’ve not seen any diamond ads for some time. Maybe I just watch the wrong channels.

      Speaking personally, I don’t believe in buying things to prove your love. Although having said that, I have bought a variety of things, including jewellery, for my significant others. But that has been because I wanted to, or because they would look nice, and (especially) if they would fit into my usually limited budget.

      My current other half, whom I’ve been with now for four years (and I hope for many more), is currently wearing my “committment” ring. It’s made of haematite, and cost me 1 Euro (a bit over a US dollar, maybe 1.30 on a good day) at a rock and gem shop I frequent. I am wearing it’s considerably bigger brother, which also cost her 1 Euro. I don’t think rings get much cheaper than that, but they mean as much to us as it we’d bankrupted ourselves buying rocks the size of Manhattan.

      Which I also think look rather vulgar. But maybe that’s just me.

      1. Re: DeBeers &c

        Amen to that, brother.
        And, as a side note, I should have typed, “…Love this woman!” Not, “…LIVE this woman!” Though maybe he does live her, I don’t know…

  10. There too!?

    The Shane Company is in Mormon Land too!? I live north of seattle and always thought they were a local radio scourge. But something that big, that creepy, and that annoying…..WE MUST BURN THE PLAGUE OUT!! YES WE WILL BURN THEM! MWHAHAHAHA!

  11. Around here, there’s jeweler who pimps that line hard — “Give women our jewelry and they will love you”. It makes me sick. That whole attitude makes me sick.

    It doesn’t help their goal that I have almost no interest in “real” jewelry. I wear junk jewelry now and again, as seen in this icon, but I don’t really get the whole concept of paying 300 times as much for something that looks maybe 50% better. I mean, I kinda get it for wedding rings (you are going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, so something that will last as long as you do is desirable) but … meh. I understand it does make some women very happy, and that’s fine for them. But if somebody wants to spend large sums of money on me, there are many other things I’d much rather have. (Like a basement that doesn’t leak, for starters).

  12. Last jewlery I bought was for my mother, and I got it from the supermarket.
    Well, not really. The Warehouse is not technicically a supermarket, it’s a supermarket for all the non-food stuff instead. Recently they got into jewlery – the items they still are still relatively unique (they’ll only have a few of each, you’re lucky if they have a matching pair in store), but they’re at least a quarter of the normal jewelers.
    She was touched, because it was a necklace with a silver celtic cross on it, and she’s always liked those. But I guess the main point is that while yes, I bought jewlery, it wasn’t the jewlery itself, nor the money spent that mattered.
    It really is the thought, that counts. 🙂

  13. My woman and I both detest rings on our fingers (icky!). She fully expects a dynamite desktop rig for her engagement gift. It’s a no-brainer, in her words, even. People give us crap every so often about how it’ll become obsolete quickly, and a ring has lasting value; however, we’ve lost all the rings we’ve had pretty fast, and when was the last time you lost your tower in a garbage disposal, or in someone else’s sofa? And obsolescence is less a concern these days, unless you’re a digital video monster; the PC I spent 2.5K on 2.5 years ago still runs every game I’ve thrown at it with the settings maxed. Figure in another two years, a rig will last another 6 or 8.

    Oh and yeah, DeBeers is DeDevil.

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