link.

The brother of a Utah Marine twice accused of desertion said he and his brother were in the middle of negotiating a $1 million book deal and movie rights up until Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun disappeared over the holidays.

Mohamad Hassoun told the Deseret Morning News that his brother's second disappearance in the face of pending desertion and theft charges has soured any interest in selling the missing Marine's personal story.

"There are no current negotiations right now," Mohamad Hassoun said Thursday from his home.


Who BUYS these kinds of books, anyway? A million dollar book deal? Was this supposed to be the story of capture-and-escape, or desertion-and-how-I-dodged-the-charges? I get the feeling the book would have been a skinny work of bad fiction.

I can write bad fiction. Give ME the million dollars. And you’ll get more than just one book, too. Heck, I’ll illustrate the entire trilogy for no extra charge!

Okay, okay… I’m not angry at the publisher for not giving me a seven-figure advance. Good on ’em for NOT giving any money to the Hassouns. Let’s wait until history unfolds before we pay their family to rewrite it.

–Howard

With the tightening of the belt, I don’t get to go out and rent whatever strikes my fancy. We have to PLAN for movie rentals, and borrow things from friends and neighbors where possible. The best rental option is renting things at the local Albertson’s grocery, where new releases are only 99 cents Monday through Thursday, but you only get them for the night. That’s fine — I only need one night to see most stuff.

So… the list. Keep in mind that this is more for ME than for you (whoever YOU happen to be), but I thought I’d share it so you can study the silhoutte my tastes cast in this particular light:

1: Troy
2: Shawn of the Dead
3: Monk Season 2
4: Resident Evil: Apocalypse
5: CSI: Miami Season 1
6: CSI: Miami Season 2
7: King Arthur
8: Catwoman (because Sandra may want to see it… I’ve already seen it once)
9: Without a Paddle

Let’s see… Death features prominently in at least seven of the nine… and it’s the FIRST seven. The Undead feature prominently in #s 2, 4, and 8 (hmmm… powers of two? Coincidence.) (Yes, Catwoman qualifies as “undead,” what with her having been killed and brought back. So does Elektra, or so I hear.) Forensic science is featured in four of the titles (3, 5, 6, and 8), though we won’t argue here about either its accuracy or its believability. Hotties feature in 1, 4, 7, and 8, but be aware that I distinguish between “hot” and “attractive” in such a way that I can admit to being both turned on AND creeped out by Angelina Jolie (#1), Milla Jojovich (#4), and Halle Berry (#8). Crazy people can be found in all of them, I think. I mean, I can’t say for sure about King Arthur, but just based on the trailers I’m confident that mental illness of some sort is a plot point everywhere else.

Car chases? Dunno. Probably at least four of them. Sword fighting? At least two. Explosions? I have no idea, but the smart money is on “all of the above.”

Oscar nominations? Not a one of them, I suspect. And that’s just the way I like it.

–Howard

What a fascinating juxtaposition. Yesterday CNN and others reported that the French foreign minister has called for “a new trans-Atlantic relationship” between the United States and its European allies. And yesterday evening I watched Godzilla (the 1998 remake with Matthew Broderick), and lo and behold, a FRENCHMAN is a key military hero.

If only the French were all as cool as Jean Reno. His cronies all got eaten, mostly because they panicked or froze up when confronted by 9-foot-long Mini-Godzillas, but Jean Reno’s character “Phillippe,” HE was cool. He saved the day. Admittedly, he had the help of the U.S. Military, which made the movie believable, but he also had the help of Matthew Broderick, which made the movie ridiculous.

(ASIDE: At one point Matthew Broderick turns to Jean Reno and says “Phillippe.” I turned to my wife and said “I see you brought your crossbow.” Ladyhawke fans may now giggle. She certainly did.)

France and the US certainly have some kissing-and-making-up to do if they want to accomplish anything meaningful together. I think that Americans are more likely to accept the French as allies if we can be convinced that they’re all cool, heroic types like Jean Reno. I prescribe a month of Americans Rent Godzilla, during which we can laugh as Jean Reno complains about our coffee, grin as he does Elvis impressions to get through military checkpoints, and stand up and cheer as he rappels from a press-box using a spool of audio cable.

–Howard

On non-leap-years, the date/day relationship in February is identical to the date/day relationship in March, excepting the last three days, obviously. The first Monday in February this year is the 7th, and so is the first Monday in March.

Useful!

–Howard