On the advice of others, I medicated my stuffy head with capsaicin.
I took a can of Van Kamp’s Pork ‘n Beans, added a quarter-cup of brown sugar, and three chopped-up slices of dinner ham. I then took a half-cup of the resulting mixture (about a quarter of it) over to another bowl, and added a teaspoon of Blair’s Sudden Death Sauce.
Understand, please, that I’ve let myself go “out of shape” with regards to capsicum pain-gating over the last few weeks. I’m still no slouch, but this was easily as hot as the hottest stuff I was eating before — I selected the dosage for pain, not flavor or fun.
I’ll let Sandra describe what happened when I ate it. Suffice it to say that now my nose is no longer aching, and though it still runs, I can type without replacing soft-palate consonants.
There is one danger… I put weapons-grade capsicum in a dish known for its ability to induce flatulence. I could be farting tear-gas tomorrow…
–Howard
Hey, but at least nobody will bother you so you can get your work done, right?
…
That is, if you can stand to be in the same room as yourself for any extended period of time.
…
Yah, good luck with that.
Hope you get feeling better.
ROFL! Farting tear gas! OH GOD! Now there’s a WMD for the ages…
[wiping eyes and trying to stop chuckling]
Flashback from Mr. Mom
“You gave a baby chili!!!!??”
seconds later evacuation of all service personnel from the house….
*chuckles*
Maybe not tear-gas, but you may be emiting flame…
As for the image of tear-gas gas… I can only ponder the fact that this has never come up in a strip yet…
That I recall off-hand…
Re: *chuckles*
Self-ignition *usually* is limited to compost piles, but I’ll be keeping an eye on News of the Weird. 😉
Three words…
Cartman…
On…
SouthPark…
’nuff said..
Re: Three words…
Well, in my universe, Beano can make a suitable birthday gift. 😉
Darn it…
I knew we forgot to get his wife something…
Cause heaven knows it would be as much for her as for him… 🙂
I can only imagine that “having relations” with a spouse is tough when they are choking and gagging due to a lack of breathable air…
Time to stand on your head in the shower. 🙂
A friend of my brother’s put it that way after eating a homecanned jar of peppers.
I’d not advise that…
I dunno about y’all, but for me chili… ummm… well…
I’ll just say “trots” and leave it at that…
Re: I’d not advise that…
Heh. I meant as the cure for the heat.
Re: I’d not advise that…
True, but I just love the lamentations of my roomie the next morning. I don’t got for the death level Howard uses, of course, but I like some spice in my chili, and I believe that good chili should simmer overnight.
“It burns! It burns like Vermilion’s Cooking!”
Of course, this is from a many who constantly burns his mouth on tater tots right out of the fryer.
Re: I’d not advise that…
“Tastes like burning.” 6 habaneros in place of 6 Thai chilis.
But burning from heat is different from a chemical burn.
Well, don’t hold your breath … and don’t burp with your mouth closed..