Pork ‘n Beans ‘n Ouch

On the advice of others, I medicated my stuffy head with capsaicin.

I took a can of Van Kamp’s Pork ‘n Beans, added a quarter-cup of brown sugar, and three chopped-up slices of dinner ham. I then took a half-cup of the resulting mixture (about a quarter of it) over to another bowl, and added a teaspoon of Blair’s Sudden Death Sauce.

Understand, please, that I’ve let myself go “out of shape” with regards to capsicum pain-gating over the last few weeks. I’m still no slouch, but this was easily as hot as the hottest stuff I was eating before — I selected the dosage for pain, not flavor or fun.

I’ll let Sandra describe what happened when I ate it. Suffice it to say that now my nose is no longer aching, and though it still runs, I can type without replacing soft-palate consonants.

There is one danger… I put weapons-grade capsicum in a dish known for its ability to induce flatulence. I could be farting tear-gas tomorrow…

–Howard

14 thoughts on “Pork ‘n Beans ‘n Ouch”

  1. Hey, but at least nobody will bother you so you can get your work done, right?

    That is, if you can stand to be in the same room as yourself for any extended period of time.

    Yah, good luck with that.

    Hope you get feeling better.

  2. *chuckles*

    Maybe not tear-gas, but you may be emiting flame…

    As for the image of tear-gas gas… I can only ponder the fact that this has never come up in a strip yet…

    That I recall off-hand…

          1. Darn it…

            I knew we forgot to get his wife something…

            Cause heaven knows it would be as much for her as for him… 🙂

            I can only imagine that “having relations” with a spouse is tough when they are choking and gagging due to a lack of breathable air…

    1. I’d not advise that…

      I dunno about y’all, but for me chili… ummm… well…

      I’ll just say “trots” and leave it at that…

        1. Re: I’d not advise that…

          True, but I just love the lamentations of my roomie the next morning. I don’t got for the death level Howard uses, of course, but I like some spice in my chili, and I believe that good chili should simmer overnight.

          “It burns! It burns like Vermilion’s Cooking!”

          Of course, this is from a many who constantly burns his mouth on tater tots right out of the fryer.

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