My next-door neighbor back in 1994 was a police officer. Nice guy, full head of hair, nice family.

Now he plays Darth Vader with the the Alpine Garrison of the 501st Legion. See?

That’s how it happens… you go from being serving with the forces for good, and then you’re seduced to the dark side in hopes of getting a shiny helmet to cover the hair loss. I bet that’s how the movie goes, too.

–Howard
p.s. Mark, if you’re reading this, it was really good talking to you, and these are not the droids you’re looking for.

Okay, I’ve now been “friended” 300 times. Where’s my free toaster?

In unrelated news, I saw “The Manchurian Candidate” last night. Dark, twisty, and moody. The straight-on filming of faces was creepy — it made you part of a reality you really don’t want to take any part in.

Regarding the rating: There’s R-rated violence that desensitizes us, like the shoot-em-ups in True Lies or Total Recall (a pair of Governator films I really enjoyed), and then there’s violence that heightens our sensitivity, reminding us that life is precious and OW OW OW BE CAREFUL WITH THAT. This movie has the second kind of R-rated violence.

Wanna know how it ends? So did I.

–Howard

Sandra’s on the road to Boise right now, and I’m engaged in some serious Buffer-Fu. On Saturday and Sunday I scripted two weeks worth of Schlock, and I’m going to try and get all 18 rows inked by Tuesday afternoon. That’ll put me far enough ahead that I can spend a little time crafting the opening of “Schlock Mercenary Book IV: Saving The Galaxy.”

In case you’re wondering, the working titles for the first three books are:

Schlock Mercenary 1001: Under New Management
Schlock Mercenary Book II: The Blackness Between
Schlock Mercenary Book III: Out From Under New Management

We’re also planning on a CD of the first 1000 strips, entitled “Schlock Mercenary 1000: Step Away From The Tub of Happiness”

–Howard

Looking back on the day, it’s been a really good one. I didn’t spend quite as much time with the kids as I could have, but they’re going to get a lot of me next week at the reunion. I DID spend lots of time cartooning, and managed to crank the buffer from 14 to 21. And most of that was on scripts I wrote last night.

I took a break midday to see Collateral. I’ve got to take issue with this review on two points. Here’s the first one:

But instead of renting his own wheels, or getting some goon from the syndicate to drive him around, he randomly hires a cab driver, Max (played by Foxx), to chauffeur him through the dark, slick streets of L.A.

I just couldn’t buy that. It feels like false jeopardy, feeding fake dramatic tension. Why would a professional hit man — no matter how psychotic — take an eyewitness along on a murder spree?

I can see that complaint. I expected to have the same one. And then, early in the movie, a detective who is investigating the first killing learns that a cab was spotted in the alley. He remembers a series of killings one night in Oakland when a cab driver supposedly went crazy, killed three people, and then took his own life. He also remembers that the detective on that particular case never bought into the suicide story.

So you see… no plot-hole. Our contract killer, played by Tom Cruise, plans to pin the killings on Max. Granted, it’s not an airtight cover, but if Max plays along it’ll hold long enough for the REAL killer to cover the rest of his tracks.

The other complaint the reviewer had was the pace of the movie. I’ll say this much: I don’t want to see it AGAIN, because there WAS a lot of “sitting and talking” and “establishing mood.” This is NOT an action movie. Sure, there’s action in it, but it’s really more of a moody, dramatic thriller, and the pacing is required for that mood.

And this is coming from a guy (me) who likes his movies paced a LOT faster. If you’ve been thinking about seeing Collateral, don’t let the CNN reviewer put you off.

So now it sounds like the movie was my whole day. Nope. It’s just the part that’s most fun to discuss.

–Howard