The next month of Schlock Mercenary contains some comics that are going to come across, at least to some people, as commentary on current politics.

For the record, they’re not. They MIGHT be general commentary on the nature of individual responsibility, agency, power, and the role of government, but only because for at least part of the story, aspects of each of those affect the characters I write about. The characters have their own opinions, and are at odds with one another and with The System (such as it is), just like real people in this world, only funnier.

Anybody who thinks that I picture Schlockiverse politics as anything other than comically dystopian needs to have a little sit-down with the word “satire” in the dictionary.

That said, I love America, and it truly saddens me to see the malice and hatred in our political scene today. I just don’t get it. It’s like the Two-Minute-Hate in 1984. Both sides are guilty of it. Regardless of who wins the election in November, unless we start Being Nice To Each Other in a hurry, everybody loses. Remember, in the course of your day (today, four years from now, or 40 years from now), NOTHING the sitting President decides will give you an excuse to be mean to your neighbor. NOTHING. If your little patch of America sucks, it’s YOUR FAULT.

Today I drew faster than I ever have before. The pencilling was done in less than 90 minutes for 9 rows (that’s seven days of strips, and yes, that’s less than 10 minutes a row). The INKING took 22 minutes per row for the Sunday, 19 minutes per row for two of the dailies, another two dailies took only 15 minutes each, and another two were completed in record-setting 14-minute inking sessions.

That’s 162 minutes of inking for an entire week of Schlock. Powered, at least in part, by three glasses of Nesquik and almost no food (I did have a pair of fried eggs and some toast for breakfast). When I fall off of the low-carb wagon, I leap clear into the ditch, roll into the brush, and then charge into the woods. And usually the consequences are huge emotional lows, no productivity, and Angry Sandra.

–Howard

The fans at Schlockfest brought me Nesquik.

“Ah, my old nemesis. I’ve defeated you before.”

I had Sandra hide the stuff where I couldn’t find it when we got home.

Well, just KNOWING IT WAS IN THE HOUSE did me in. I begged, she consented, and I’ve plowed through at least 4000 calories worth of the stuff in three days.

The good news is that it hasn’t killed me yet. The bad news is that the fans bought one of those 80-serving tubs. The worst news is that it’s not 80 servings for me. It’s like 25, or maybe 30.

–Howard

Okay, here’s the deal: I’m one of five Guests of Honor at Linucon October 8th through 10th in Austin, TX. One of the volunteer slots still open is “GoH Liason for Howard Tayler.”

We’re looking for local volunteers. We have a couple of attendees already available for this position, but both of them have lots of other things to do, and neither of them are locals. They’re also both good friends of mine, and won’t be put out one bit if they don’t get picked for this job. In fact, we’ll probably be more likely to REMAIN good friends if they don’t get picked for this job. Especially Chalain, who is twice the genius I am, and secretly despises me for my fame and wealth.

(note: there is no actual wealth, and there’s little enough fame to speak of)

Here are the requirements:
1) You need to be registered for the Con, and sign up as a volunteer with Lisa.
2) I’m going to be really, really, REALLY busy with panels, business meetings for Schlock, business meetings for Novell, drawing stuff for fans, etc. You need to have the kind of administrative skills to get me from place to place without panicking.
3) You need to be an Austin local, preferably with a car, so that if I hand you $20 and send you off in search of sushi, or maybe geisha girls, you’ll stand at least even odds of succeeding in your quest.
4) I’m kidding about the geisha girls
5) You need to be comfortable using a walkie-talkie.
6) You should not suck up to me, brown-nose, or otherwise employ subservient obsequiety. It’s okay if you’re in awe of my work, and it’s okay if you’re not. Just don’t drool, or spit. We’ll both act like professionals, and I’ll treat you like a friend. Honest. That’s the kind of guy I am.

The only compensation I’m aware of is that you’ll get your Con registration fee comped or refunded. You’ll likely need to be staying at the hotel, and I doubt that can be comped. This really is a hard-core VOLUNTEER position. I’m not sure why anybody would want it. I will see to it that you get original, custom artwork in a timely manner (unlike the several people to whom I STILL owe originals.)

If you’ve read this far and are still interested, email me a short resume/bio, and tell me why you think you’d be good at this.

–Howard

Gee, I’ve left comments on down below. I have no idea what you people are going to talk about in regard to this post, but feel free to talk about it.