As an experiment, I bought a package of peanut-butter-creme Double-Stuf Oreos. I had one bite of one, and decreed them “fit only for children.”

The children are eating them now. Patches, in particular, is eating them. He peeled the Stuf out of two cookies (the PB creme is firmer and less sticky than real Oreo creme) and used them to sandwich one Oreo cookie “cookie.” And then he looked up and me and said “Look! A sammich!” And then proceeded to eat it.

Obviously two times “double” stuff is “quadruple” stuff. But if you then HALVE the amount of cookie, what do you call it? Does the original ratio of Stuf to Cookie matter, or can the cookie and creme amounts be treated as variables, and the equation somehow reduced through Oreo Algebra?

Consider: If the original oreo cookie is represented by O(oreo cookie)=C(the two chocolate cookie parts)+S(stuff on the inside), then a double-stuf would be O=C+2S. Patches’ Sandwich becomes O=C/2 + 4S. Multiplying both sides by two, you get 2O=C+8S… which isn’t the same as “Octuple-Stuf” because you’ve got that “2O” hanging around on the left side of the equation. Solving for “Stuf” you get 2O-C=8S, and then S=(2O-C)/8, neither of which is especially helpful.

I guess the real question is “Do Oreo Cookie engineers get hung up on Double-Stuf algebra, or is it just me?”

Paraphrased for clarity…

Sorceror: “Why is the deck-hand glowing.”
GM: “Anybody with spellcraft knows that she either cast light on herself, or had it cast on her by somebody else. If she cast it herself, then she could dispel it.”
Sorceror: “So she’s a spellcaster?”
Me: “Maybe. Or a victim.”
Rogue: “I bet she’s a spellcaster, and she’s crazy.”
Deck-Hand: “You may be right. I may be crazy.”
Rogue: singing badly “But it just may be a LOOOON-a-tic you’re lookin’ for.”
All: laughter.
GM: Okay, back on topic…
Me: glaring at the deck-hand, whose apparently self-imposed illumination is spoiling our stealth “Turn out the light.”
Deck-Hand: glares back, begins to speak
Me: interrupting, and turning to the rogue “Don’t try to save me.”
All: more laughter
Me: Sorry… That had to be done. You can dock experience points if you want to.

The dog that ended a police chase by biting the fleeing suspect was not a police dog. No, the dog belonged to the fleeing suspect.

Here’s the article.

Next up on “when animals attack stupid criminals,” let’s have a man fleeing police on foot with a pet rattlesnake in his pants.

Firefighters pulled Daryl Hannah out of a tree.
It would appear that she is protesting the landowner’s decision to put a warehouse on land that has for the last 15 years been used, free of charge, by urban farmers. Others, including Willie Nelson and Danny Glover also protested.

Let’s look at it this way… these well-known and well-to-do personalities are pushing for a private landowner to contribute 14 acres of land for public use. That seems like a worthy cause, right?

Why don’t they just, you know… BUY it? Did they try? It’s just money, after all. They could have set up the Hannah, Nelson, and Glover Trust for Urban Gardening, and as a non-profit organization kept trees on that land in perpetuity. They could have turned it into a park. What would it have cost them? A million dollars? Five? And if that’s what it would have cost, how can it possibly be just for them to expect the private landowner to absorb the cost himself?

I’ll be impressed when Ms. Hannah buys some land and donates it to the public herself.