Pre-Orders Opening Soon! Last Minute Info!

Pre-Orders for Schlock Mercenary: The Tub Of Happiness will be opening at 8:00am Mountain Daylight Time (GMT -6) on Thursday. You’ll be able to place your orders at, where you can pay with a credit card, Paypal, or print out a mail-order form and pay with Check, Money Order, or Don’t Send Cash Through The Mail.

You will also be able to place and pay for your pre-order (including a sketch edition pre-order) at Dragons Keep, 260 N. Univ. Ave., Provo. If you are coming to Mountain-Con in Salt Lake City this weekend, you can place and pay for your pre-order there, as well.

Please note… we don’t expect to have the books back from the printer until mid- to late- November. We decided to give the $5.00 discount for pre-orders in part because we’re going to be sitting on your money for at least 60, and perhaps up to 90 days before your book arrives. Hopefully that discount takes some of the sting out of the requirement that you be patient.

We know that some credit-card companies only extend buyer protection within a 30-day window. We won’t be shipping product within that time-frame, which may worry you. Without resorting to legalese, here is our guarantee — if there’s anything wrong with your order, we’ll make it right at no additional charge to you. Did the postman leave it in a puddle, or break the spine shoving it into your mailbox? Did you not get the right number of books? Was your book defective? It doesn’t matter — let us know, and we’ll fix it.

If you’re living outside of the United States and have shopped with us before, you probably know that the flat-rate Priority Mail International cardboard envelopes are the most cost-effective way to get your book. If you want a more durable container, there are shipping options for that, but they more than double the expense. My advice: gang up with your friends and buy a bunch of books at once. We can double-box them (little box inside bigger box, with padded fill) for uber-protection.

Here are some rough shipping prices: $4.51 gets the book shipped USPS Media Mail anywhere in the United States. Double that for priority mail or parcel post. $12 gets the book shipped Priority Mail International Flat Rate to Europe (or pretty much anywhere else in the world). Double that for Priority Mail International in a sturdy box. All the shipping instructions are available in the storefront, but if you’ve got questions, please don’t hesitate to email us.

Oh, and speaking of the storefront, it’s going down for a few hours Wednesday while we re-lay the pages. It will be back up in time for pre-orders. I promise.

4 thoughts on “Pre-Orders Opening Soon! Last Minute Info!”

  1. Howard, Howard, Howard…

    How can you set a precedent of good customer service like that? Are you trying to make the rest of the United States business community look bad?


  2. Your customer service stories are great. I’m sure any of your readers already know they can trust you if they have ever bought anything from you before. And anyone that hasn’t bought something before…Well whats wrong with them?

  3. Heee. I should ship the fee in pennies! The only problem is I’d be giving you twice as much money as face value AND I’d probably pay as much in shipping as the money you’re asking. 😉

    Have I missed out on getting one with a sketch?

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