Well, it wasn’t any better the second time around…

We borrowed Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith from a neighbor. The movie is no better the second time around, even after months of not seeing it.

I’m glad we don’t own it. There are better things to spend money on, and I’d rather not have to explain the nuances of the twisted Jedi/Sith morality play to my kids a zillion times. The only character in that movie worth emulating is Artoo, and that’s because George Lucas never wrote any dialog for him.

Still…. better than Bloodrayne.

20 thoughts on “Well, it wasn’t any better the second time around…”

  1. I don’t know. Having seen Episode 3, I no longer feel that the Emperor was evil. I mean, he’s just trying to bring peace and security to a wartorn galaxy, open up the Republican beauracracy to be accountable to someone, and generally show how ineffectual the Republic and the Jedi (who kidnap babies from their mother’s arms and raise them as some sort of disgusting Ascetic killing machines) are at solving any real kind of crisis.

    Palpatine is a hero. He needs a medal, dangit.

  2. While I’ll disagree with your view on Palpatine, the only real good part of Episode 3 is Ewan McGregor’s acting (he didn’t play his own take on Obi-Wan, he basically played Sir Alec Guiness playing Obi-Wan), and some of the fight scenes (and R2, but hey, R2 is basically a infernal optimist and nuts). The morality play isn’t, everything about the Jedi become more and more post-modern as you hear about them.

    Frankly, the entire new trilogy is far inferior to the original.

    Go play KOTOR is you want some decent Star Wars storytelling…

  3. But Artoo had the thrice-damned leg-rockets in this one. I’m still mad about those.

    My question is how the hell the Jedi Order survived gazillions of years and continued to triumph over teenage hormones.

      1. Artoo’s lack of mobility is a major issue in both films IV-VI and a large swath of the EU. The leg rockets just seem like deus ex machina in II and III.

        1. Wouldn’t that be rocketus ex machina?

          Or maybe “George Lucas wrote himself into another corner and everyone likes R2-D2!

          1. The funny part is, I don’t even remember the scene (see my comments elsewhere re: intracranial application of Clorox products).

  4. They don’t mention the mandatory sterilization that Anakin only overcame because he was just SOOOO powerful, do they?

    *evil grin*

    1. Yes, the best way to ensure the continuation of [inherited trait] is to demand that strongest expressors of [inherited trait] are forbidden to pass on [inherited trait].


      I did however really appreciate the line, “Only the Sith deal in absolutes.” It was so deliciously meta that I’m sure Lucas has no idea just how profound that statement should’ve been to the characters in his little puppet show.

  5. I never much liked the way Star Wars portrayed Good and Evil. And if it wasn’t for the fact that the Empire was a human-centric totalitarian regime, the Sith may have actually had a point. The entire storyline was about how civilization can rot from within. And the Jedi were not immune to it. Lucas might have been hamhanded and clumsy in this theme, but it’s there.

  6. Ep3 was better than 1 and 2

    I found that 3 made up for the crapfest that was 1 and 2. It really made Anakin/Vader human.

    “He turned to the dark side” doesn’t give you any reason to sympathise,

    “He took extraordinary measures to try to save the one he loved”, thats something anyone can understand and sympathise with even if we wouldn’t have done it ourselves

    1. Re: Ep3 was better than 1 and 2

      It was self-fullfilling prophesy nearly on a level with something Piers Anthony, another hack, would write.

      “She’s going to die. I’m the only one that can teach you how to save her.”

      She would have been fine if he’d never turned. She died because of all the stupid choices he made. If he’d made just ONE LESS stupid choice at many crossroads, she’d have been fine.

      1. Re: Ep3 was better than 1 and 2

        You forgot to mention the whole bit about “You must kill EVERYONE BESIDES PADME to save Padme. Get on it, kid!”

        1. Re: Ep3 was better than 1 and 2

          And I assure you that forgetting such was the least I expected from pouring gallons of Clorox Cleanup over my brain after that aberration was over.

  7. Hurm.

    I liked Episode 3. I liked it more than any of the others.
    Of course, Episode 6 was my second-favourite, and I thought that the last 30 minutes of Episode 2 made up for the first part of it, and I always really disliked Episode 5.
    So maybe I just like the flashy effects.

    But I did like Anakin in Episode 3 more than in Episode 2. In 2, much as I hate to use this word, and I apologize profusely for doing so, but I can’t think of anything better, in Episode 2, Anakin was a pussy. In 3, he just became a good old-fashioned jerk, and thus was awesome. But he was terrible in 2.

    I don’t know.
    At the very least, Episode 3 has the awesomest soundtrack of all of them. It has the occasional strain of recognizable Star Wars music, but for the most part it sounds more like sci-fi-ified Howard Shore. Which is awesome. Too bad it doesn’t have anything along the lines of The Modal Nodes or the Max Rebo Band. Oh well. But yeah, I will admit that buying the Episode 3 soundtrack would be a slightly better use of money than buying the movie itself. Which is really saying something, because I own both.

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