I had a free rental coming to me (Blockbuster Rewards) and I spent it on the Director’s Cut of Alexander.
This film is beautiful, gorey, sexy, and utterly incomprehensible. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why these people are doing what they’re doing, or what the significance is of what they do next. Sure, there are a couple of driving forces behind Alexander’s push into Asia — his belief that if he goes far enough he can sail home, and some weirdness in his relationship with his mother — but that’s about the extent of what’s making sense. Yeah, yeah, it’s a war of conquest, I get that. But these court and field intrigues need just a wee bit more explaining.
The Director’s Cut was billed as being “faster paced” and “more action-packed.” I have to wonder if they shortened the film by taking out all the bits where Anthony Hopkins explains why so-and-so does such-and-such.
(Aside: Did Rosario Dawson get a nose-job? In Men In Black II, The Rundown, and Frank Miller’s Sin City I remember her left nostril being canted up more sharply than her right, so much so that it was almost comically distracting. In Alexander I’m barely noticing it. Good camera work, digital nostril-tweaks in post, or surgery?)
We stopped watching 2 hours into the movie, because it’s now past bedtime and the film still isn’t making sense. I’ll tune back in tomorrow to see the elephant, provided it’s still in the Director’s cut.
–Howard “I’m really happy I didn’t see this in theaters” Tayler