I’m just askin’…

Obviously Elf has a thing for Tagon. The extent of that ‘thing,’ and whether or not its existence will ever be discovered, rewarded, punished, or reciprocated remains to be seen.

I’ve already written it. Your answers to the poll below won’t influence the story (much). I just want to know in advance how many of you I’m going to disappoint. 🙂


46 thoughts on “I’m just askin’…”

        1. I think that the meaning was spoiled
          And I did it first, as I toiled
          But right now I think
          As I look at that link
          That I’ll pause here, and not get … embryoiled.

          ===|==============/ Level Head

    1. Indeed, it is definitely my second choice. If Schlock is going to get romantic, it needs to absolutely do so in the most disturbing fashion possible. 🙂

    2. “Mundies” — I suspect that this is short for “mundanes”; those that live in the ordinary world. The term has been in use in groups such the Society for Creative Anacronism.

      ===|==============/ Level Head

      1. Googling “squick the mundies” didn’t help much — but I’m pretty sure, after searching for just “squick”, that Howard meant “gross out the masses” and NOT the actual root meaning, which apparently can be found in forums I would rather not visit.

        1. Oh, yes — I made the assumption that “squick” was sufficiently well known. “Gross out” is about right, but there’s a visceral sexual connotation to it. A young fellow finding himself witnessing an autopsy isn’t usually said to be “squicked” — but might be witnessing the birth of his child.

          In recent times, the term is broadening, and is now being used for strong, gut-level abhorrence of other situations — such as (for many) watching an eye surgery. This is less common, though.

          More common is referring to a young man being squicked by listening to women discuss gynecological problems. Along the lines of “TMI”, sort of.

          It has obvious application to your brother’s work — and to yours, for that matter — and you both have sought just such reactions in the past. ];-)

          The discussions surrounding Schlock wanting to have Breya’s baby come to mind.

          ===|==============/ Level Head

  1. It seems to me that if a romance feels like part of the story as it occurs to you, tell it. It makes no particular sense, I’d guess, to have established a “rating level” of “hard-SF” and suddenly change it to “hard-core”. And it does not seem likely to me that you would do this.

    Romantic interests have been part of the story in the past, and have even included Elf, not to mention the good doctor and reverend. They have been brief and intense, or have had longer and milder involvements.

    Your instincts have proven to be quite good, and I trust you.

    Best wishes.

    ===|==============/ Level Head

    1. ditto this. I voted for “no” more, because I’ve enjoyed what there’s been, but like what you’ve been doing throughout. You’ve not gone overboard any which way as far as I’m concerned. Keep it up. 🙂

      I’ve, er, got an hour or two to come up with a comic, myself. No mighty buffer-fu for me.

    2. Elf and Tagon already did the whole “Profess true love and die in his arms” thing, except they brought her back and he was the one who died and I’m not sure how romantic cutting her head off is supposed to be (even it it _was_ for her own good and a selfless thing to do on top of that) and in any case it was a dorothy system which more accuratly falls under the headings of ‘munitions’.

      But other than that.

      Anyway, the POINT is that we know how she feels, and we know that under the right circumstances (a doomed firefight during the apocalypse) he would be receptive to this. Howard would be cruel to leave this unresolved and dangling endlessly.

      Unfortuantely for Elf, “if you can’t join ’em, beat ’em” applies. The only obvious reaction to being scorned would be either killing Tagon outright or leaving to start her own mercenary company to beat him that way. (The best case scenario would simply be joining Pranger to make Tagon jealous. That would involve the minimum amount of collateral damage…)


  2. Just don’t make Elf’s lovelife like Sam Carter’s from Stargate:SG-1. At least not in the “high bodycount of boyfriends/potential boyfriends” category. 😉

        1. That, my fellow schlockies, is what my friends and I used to refer to as “The Cartwright Curse.” This refers to a TV show from the Sixties called “Bonanza.”

          Ben Cartwright was has three sons by three different wives. He buried all theee. Those three sons must have gone through a hundred girlfriends each, usually lost to a gunfight, a cattle stampede, or some similarly dramatic, tragic, end. It’s a wonder there was a woman left in the entire territory. 🙂

  3. Yes. Mixing up the *blam* with the occasional *awwww* is a good thing.

    However, I fully expect any borderline sappy stuff or excessive PDAs to be swiftly interrupted with an *ominous hummmmmmmmmmmm* and Schlock muttering “Your room is over there.”.

    By the way, How are Dr. Bunnigus and the Rev doing?

    1. Dead-on. Both in the opinion, the best way of folding the style in with the rest of it and the humor, and the question. (The Rev isn’t wasn’t ever a Lieutenant, was he.)

  4. I voted ‘no’ not because I don’t love the romance storylines we’ve had so far but because I think there’s just enough as it is. And you didn’t put in a Baby Bear “This romance is just right!” option.

    Unless ‘romance’ is a euphemism for ‘hot ‘n’ heavy graphic cartoon sex’, in which case I change my vote to a great big YES. Because you have an amorph in the universe and…well, um. I’ll stop right there, I think 🙂

  5. You’ve created a problem with your totally gender-integrated military: Romance among the troops. You need to deal with it. So far, you’ve done well.

    Personally, though, I’m not at all sure I’d let Elf get away with striking a superior officer…but then, that’s just one of the problems with romance among the troops.

    I’m also not sure I’d want to get involved with Elf, personally. Her temper is worse than mine.

  6. My boyfriend would like to say “I’d like to see more Schlock in the Schlockiverse.

    “And things going boom. On a less-than-galactic scale.”

    Me, I like romance. But things going boom is good too! 🙂

    1. This is elf we’re talking about here. Do you honestly think any romantic actions on her part would NOT involve things going boom? This is a woman who if you give her flowers and chocolate thinks an appropriate return gift is the heads of your enemies on a stick.


  7. Re: the poll, I answered no because I don’t want to see “more” romance. I think the current level of romance (ok, or a little more) is just fine.

  8. You’ve left out the most important alternative for people to vote for:

    I don’t care, as long as you tell a good story.

  9. Your poll does not include a “do what you want to” option. I think I’d prefer no more romance/sex than you’ve done up to now, but I expect I’ll like whatever you do; I have so far.

    I’m more concerned with whether Elf really punched Tagon, and whether she’ll get away with it.

    I’m also wondering what happened to the “other” Schlock. We had two of them after Schlock1 stowed away with Kevyn1 on the time-trip back. Did I miss something?

    1. Last seen claiming salvage rights to Pranger’s ship, Integrity. His exact words, IIRC, were “I killed it, I get to keep it!”

  10. I did not vote

    IF I did I would write in “Do what you think is best. You’ve always done a good job, your instincts for a good story in the medium are excellent, and I trust you to continue making me smile.

    1. Start with one Elf.

      Put on the bikini bottom.

      Put on the legs.

      Put on the bikini top.

      Commit insubordination.

      Repeat until desired result is achieve.

  11. Not between Elf and anyone.

    Elf is obviously cursed. All of her boyfriends die. Tagon kissed her and died. So betwen anyone else, sure you bet. Between Elf and Tagon? No way, we just got Tagon back.

    Hey Elf could be their secret weapon.

    “Hey Elf, we need to assassinate someone. We need you to become his girlfriend for a while.”

    “Then when he trusts me, I kill him?”

    “Nope, just hook up with him. That should do it.”

  12. Makes me think of Narbonic – yes, there’s romance, yes, they’re getting it on, but you never see anything *explicit*.

    Just, at most, people walking around in towels, coming from a bedroom they don’t normally sleep in.

    On the other hand, it’s only a matter of time before the first hardcore pornographic Schlock Mercenary doujinshis start showing up. 🙂

  13. I wasn’t even sure what “squick the mudnies” meant, but I suspected it wasn’t something a good Mormon should know, either.
    I said “no,” but to be honest, that isn’t entirely accurate.
    I was pleased when, before his last stand, Tagon kissed Elf and they revealed they had feelings for each other. I was disappointed when he appeared to not have any such inclinations in his “second life.” So, the actual answer is “yes,” but mainly in the background, not as main story focus.
    I suspect a relationship would help Tagon immensely, actually.

  14. > Obviously Elf has a thing for Tagon.

    As long as the thing isn’t ticking or making an ominous hummmm, Tagon’s probably going to be ok…


  15. P.S. I know Elf has something like The Cartright Curse (poor Hob), but I’d like to point out you already killed off Tagon the first time Elf proclaimed her feelings for him. Hopefully, his future self did the sheep across minefields thing already, and the path should now be clear.


  16. I’ll admit I awnsered ‘yes’, but I’d also like to tag on the statment that while I’m fond of romance as an extent of natural human behavior, I’d rather see it as a point -of- the plot than the goal of the plot.

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