And I think I know where he gets it…

A few days ago my 7-year-old son grated some cheese, piled it between two slices of bread, and nuked it for a minute. He then ate the whole thing.

I didn’t think much of it. Obviously Sandra had taught him how to make a quick-and-dirty cheese sandwich.

Sandra, however, was puzzled. The only person in the house (up until now, anyway) who grabs materials on hand and synthesizes dishes for which we have no recipe is me. Link just sort of guessed that he could make a cheese sandwich this way, followed through, and fed himself something hot.

I wouldn’t have bothered posting about it, except that he invented a new sandwich again last night: butter, jam, and cheerios. This morning he showed me how to make one, and roped me into prepping a nice butter-jam-and-cheerio sandwich for his lunch.

He’ll never rope me into eating it. If I’m going to eat some weird new dish o’ doom, I’m going to have invented it myself.

–Howard

35 thoughts on “And I think I know where he gets it…”

  1. I make sandwiches out of anything available – two great tastes almost always taste great together! Just yesterday I had a sandwich that stacked like this:

    Bread.
    Jelly.
    Bologna.
    Hot sauce.
    Salami.
    Bologna.
    Peanut butter.
    Bread.

  2. It doesn’t sound that risky of a combination. Try making chocolate angelfood cake with cumin instead of cream of tartar.

    (Actually, you don’t taste it in the final product. My ex during his bachelor days found a can of cream of tartar and decided to try his mother’s angelfood recipe. He didn’t notice the “CUMIN” scratched into the side and didn’t realize that cream of tartar was white. It wasn’t until we were dating and I was around while he made it that he found out he was using the wrong ingrediant. I had tasted the batter and identified the cumin. He thought I was nuts and showed me the ingrediants he did use. I saw the scratches and looked at the contents and had to inform him that cream of tartar was not a YELLOWISH BROWN. But seriously, it worked well and if you didn’t taste the raw batter, you would never know.)

  3. My favorite sandwich to date is still and probably always will be dill pickle slices with sour cream on light toast. MMM, goodness. =)

  4. I was never much of an experimenter… the farthest I went as a kid was variations on PB&foo… I didn’t actually like the jelly variety. But inspired by Reese’s cups, I tried PB & chocolate chips, and PB & Nutella… as well as Nutella and butterscotch chips. Good stuff.

  5. Peanut butter
    Pickles
    cheese
    Ritz crackers
    tuna fish (if premade and available)
    Wash it all down with a glass of milk

    = best snack in the world.

    If nothing else is available, though, the peanut butter, pickles, and cheese are great together, but the milk is defintely required.

  6. A couple X-mases ago, my sister-in-law bought me one of those sandwich makers, where you shove the ingredients in and it seals and halves your sandwich. Oh, man, do I love that thing.
    One of my favorite recipes is fake crab and shredded cheese, with cream cheese inside.
    I like to dip it into 1000 Island dressing, though I want to find a dressing that’s not too sweet.

  7. see, you need a slice of ry bread, or pumpernickle, or whole wheat. Somehting that will stand up well to abuse.
    Now you need half of a (large) vidalia onion, fried till butter till the onion almost melts, alonng with 2-3 large sliced mushrooms.
    Pile that on. Add the swiss cheese. If you can see onion, you have not added enough chese yet. Allow chese to melt.
    now add a layer of sliced kielbasa, and sauerkraut.
    Now nuke this still warm open face sandwich for about 15 seconds on high. Now sit down and enjoy. I prefer it with a chilled pint glass and a dark beverage like guiness. Will feed 1 normal person, or several children.

    1. It will only feed the children if you can convince them that you aren’t trying to poison them with onions, mushrooms, and sauerkraut. 😉

  8. My oldest nephew makes microwaved cheese and spicy ranch sandwiches. And strangely on occasion I’ve been eating raisin and (sugar-free) peanut butter sandwiches. Hmmm, strange food.

    1. strange, indeed

      My brother’s favorite “odd” sandwich was mint jelly and horseradish. He ate it with obvious and great relish while we shuddered in horror.

  9. Only problem I see with his cheese sandwich is that microwaved bread doesn’t have the best texture. If you are comfortable with it, you might want to show him how to use the oven. Especially if you have a broil option (Is that standard on all ovens? I don’t really know). A simple Ham and Chedder sandwich stuck in a broiler just long enough to belt the cheese and toast the bread is delicious. Plus you can add anything you want to it afterwards.

    A friend made me the most wonderful sandwich. It was peanut butter with Cinnamon Toast Crunch (actually a generic rip off, works just as well). Nothing fancy, but it cures the sweet tooth.

  10. And the winner is …

    Take a toasted slice of rye bread; spread on a nice layer of mint jelly; take canned sardines (large fillets are best) – cover the mint jelly; top with a toasted slice of pumpernickle; enjoy!

    Ed

  11. Grilled Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Sandwich!
    (hmm, I wonder how Marshmallow Fluff would be in the middle of that?
    Added after Grilling I suppose?)

  12. Two recipe’s from the Taylers

    Howard:

    I made your ramon noodle, egg, etc… recipe. I ate it so it wasn’t gross, but it’s not something I would make on a regular basis.

    Now, I love peanut butter and jam sandwiches, but it’s gotta be crunchy peanut butter. Lacking crunchy peanut butter last night, I decided to try your sons recipe. I didn’t have butter so used blue bonnet margine and jam. I sprinkled cherrios (er flavorite Toastie-Os I’m too cheap for the brand name stuff) liberally throughout. Absolutely wonderful. Kudo’s to your son. I highly recomend you try it at least once.

    Regards,
    Robert

  13. Hehe

    *Chuckles*

    It’s nice and harmless now, just make sure you keep an eye on the little tyke when they decide to start trying to make other things out of stuff. Such as bottle rockets, cars, surf boards, submarines, and other fun things. 😉

  14. The Chupaqueso…

    … has to be the greatest recipe I have seen from you yet. I should go make myself one for brunch in a bit.

    As for my own food experiments, either I make things that my friends and I all find absolutely wonderful, or I make things things that I love and I know no one else around me will eat. The former tend to be a bit closer to mainstream foods, the latter usually involves my absolute love of spicy foods.

  15. fyi

    Totally unrelated to this post, but I couldn’t find an email address to send this to you at. But I just wanted to give a quick FYI on some 404 problems on your site.

    The first I found was while rereading through the archives, the top
    half of this strip were broken images:

    http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010520.html

    And then, when looking for contact information to let you know, I
    discovered a number of your menu links are also broken. Namely:

    The Process: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/schlockprocess.html
    Open Letters: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/letters/index.html
    Mail Stop: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/email_howard.php
    Fan Art: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/fanart/index.html
    and
    Howard’s Sci-Fi Library: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/sff-index.html

    And since I couldn’t find an email address on your site, I tried to just guess your name @schlockmercenary.com, but discovered the machine the DNS reports as your mail server (mail.schlockmercenary.com, aka patton.generalbody.com) is saying it doesn’t handle that domain:

    553 sorry, that domain isn’t in my list of allowed rcpthosts (#5.7.1)

    This could be intentional, since not every domain is also used for email of course, but I figured I’d bring it to your attention anyway, just in case.

    Anyway, you don’t have to do anything about any of that for me of course, I just figured I’d mention it and let you deal with it however you like, if at all.

    Thanks,

    Tom

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