To paraphrase inaccurately:
Iceberg B15A, 1200 square miles of frozen surreal-estate, has been predicted to attempt the world’s first observed “reverse calving,” by slamming into the Drygalski Ice Tongue as if to return to the iceberg womb (forget that this particular womb is not the one that spawned it for a moment), but it keeps not happening.
The collision is supposed to be a slow-mo spectacular, and though nobody knows what will happen, they HOPE that it’ll open up some space for icebreakers (the ships, not the party games) to get through to Antarctic stations.
You need some ice cleared? Well, since Human Waste Heat is NOT at the root of the global warming trends (waste HEAT, I said), I recommend applying large amounts of heat to this iceberg very, very quickly. Let’s find out what the hydrostatic effects are of bunker-buster missles. Will the overpressure of a MOAB or Daisycutter be sufficient to crack something that large? Do we have any space rocks handy we can drop on it?
COME ON, people. Sitting around and watching the ice floe is not spectacular, even in slo-mo, if it’s grounded. “There are very few problems that cannot be solved through the suitable application of high explosives.” I’m sure that the race of beings which chopped, bored, and blasted a gap between North and South America a century ago can figure out how to cut up a wee ice cube.
Just be sure to get it on film, okay?