Tag Archives: Filk

And Now, a FitBit Filk

Go ahead and sing it. You know the melody already.


When I wake up, well I know you’re gonna be
you’re gonna be the one who vibrates me awake
When I go out, yeah I know you’re gonna be
You’re gonna be the one who counts the steps I take.

If I get drunk, well I know you’re gonna be
you’re gonna be the one who logs my lifts of glass
When I’m hung over? Well I know you’re gonna count
You’re gonna count the hours I spend flat on my ass.

But I would walk 5000 steps
And I would walk 5000 more
Just to feel that buzz upon my wrist for my
ten thousand step reward

When I work out, yes I know we’ll have some fun
because you’ll be the one who’s workin’ out with me.
And when I’m hungry from the workin’ out I’ve done
I swear I’ll tell you every calorie I eat.

When I come home (When I come home) and I’m limpin’ like a fool
I’m gonna limp along with gusto ’cause of you.
But when I shower, well I only have one rule
I’m gonna take that long hot shower without you.

But I would walk 5000 steps
And I would walk 5000 more
Just to feel that buzz upon my wrist for my
ten thousand step reward

When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s lonely wearing you
And when I’m dreaming, well I know you’ll know I dream
because somehow you track my sleeping and that’s creepy.

When I go out (When I go out), well I know you’re gonna go
You’re gonna go just fine with what I choose to wear.
And when I come home (When I come home), yes I know I’m gonna wish
I’m gonna wish I’d walked instead of driving there.
I’m gonna wish I’d walked instead of driving there.

But I would walk 5000 steps
And I would walk 5000 more
Just to feel that buzz upon my wrist for my
ten thousand step reward


Apologies to the Proclaimers, and to my FitBit, who doesn’t get to go out nearly as often as he’d like.