What a fascinating juxtaposition. Yesterday CNN and others reported that the French foreign minister has called for “a new trans-Atlantic relationship” between the United States and its European allies. And yesterday evening I watched Godzilla (the 1998 remake with Matthew Broderick), and lo and behold, a FRENCHMAN is a key military hero.

If only the French were all as cool as Jean Reno. His cronies all got eaten, mostly because they panicked or froze up when confronted by 9-foot-long Mini-Godzillas, but Jean Reno’s character “Phillippe,” HE was cool. He saved the day. Admittedly, he had the help of the U.S. Military, which made the movie believable, but he also had the help of Matthew Broderick, which made the movie ridiculous.

(ASIDE: At one point Matthew Broderick turns to Jean Reno and says “Phillippe.” I turned to my wife and said “I see you brought your crossbow.” Ladyhawke fans may now giggle. She certainly did.)

France and the US certainly have some kissing-and-making-up to do if they want to accomplish anything meaningful together. I think that Americans are more likely to accept the French as allies if we can be convinced that they’re all cool, heroic types like Jean Reno. I prescribe a month of Americans Rent Godzilla, during which we can laugh as Jean Reno complains about our coffee, grin as he does Elvis impressions to get through military checkpoints, and stand up and cheer as he rappels from a press-box using a spool of audio cable.

–Howard

On non-leap-years, the date/day relationship in February is identical to the date/day relationship in March, excepting the last three days, obviously. The first Monday in February this year is the 7th, and so is the first Monday in March.

Useful!

–Howard

In ripping some of my classical music, I’ve re-discovered a simple principle of sound recording: if you want the quiet bits to sound quiet, make ’em LOUDER.

This is exemplified in a comparison of my two “O Fortuna” recordings. The one I first purchased back in 1994 is a standard classical recording in which the engineers try to faithfully capture the exact sounds of the orchestra and chorus. It’s disappointing because after the powerful opening chorus the levels drop to where you have to turn the volume up to hear what comes next. Then you blow out your speakers when the punchy bits come back.

The second is one I bought on iTunes, and it’s the “OperaBabes” recording. It’s classical music with Pop/Rock production sense applied. The opening is like a thunderclap, but when the ladies and chorus back off to hushed tones, you as the listener get yanked all the way onto the stage so you can hear them. In short, while the overal levels, as measured in decibels, stay within a much smaller range than they do in the first recording (up towards the TOP of the 90dB range of a CD), it SOUNDS like there’s more dynamic range. This is because you can HEAR the whispers.

There are obviously multiple schools of thought on audio engineering. Some audiophiles will tell you that the first method (leave the levels alone, and use the ENTIRE 90dB range of the CD format if the music has that kind of range in it) is better, because it’s somehow “purer.” Me, I’m about accessibility. Audio recordings are an illusion to begin with. A good audio engineer is a master illusionist, and will convince me, when I close my eyes, that I’m right there.

–Howard

This morning, while spooning gooey, soft-boiled egg-guts into my maw, Patches (the 22-month-old) began begging for “nummy egg.” I gave him a bite or two, but this three-egg breakfast was MINE, and he’d already been fed, so I didn’t give him nearly as much as he wanted.

I drop my shells into a bowl as a finish scooping them out. There’s a good 2/3 of the eggshell still intact when I do. So picture those shells.

I finish my last egg, push the bowl away, and begin working on a little bit of sausage. I look up to see Patches desperately licking out the inside of one of the shells, and making slurping noises while he was doing it.

What can I say? My barbarism has been outdone by the animal instincts of my toddler son.