Category Archives: Journal

This is me rambling about me, mostly. Current stuff: home, family, my head’s on fire… that kind of thing. This also includes everything imported from LiveJournal.

Would that we were all so honest…

My friend Scotty is a little-league umpire, and he related an experience of his to me. I’ll likely get some of the details wrong.

He was officiating a junior little-league game this last week, where the players were all seven and eight years old. It was tied, 1-1, at the end of the fifth and final inning, so they went into their special “extra innings” rules. Under these rules, the inning begins with a runner on second, so that it becomes much more likely that these poor tired little kids will be able to end the game with someone actually winning.

In the seventh inning, the 2nd-base runner for the visiting team was a six-year-old who had slipped in with a wink and a nod. The batter hit the ball, and the little guy took off. The ball was grounded and thrown to the 3rd-baseman, who fell down trying to tag this six-year-old runner as he rounded third. The umpire called him safe, and the third baseman struggled to get up and throw it home, but threw wide, and the six-year-old crossed the plate.

Scotty, who had made the call at third, was ready to have the pitcher continue the inning when he found a tug at his pants leg.

The six-year-old runner was looking up at him. Scotty said “good job,” and made to give him a high-five, but the boy said “he got me.”

“What?”

“He got me on my foot. You said I was safe, but I wasn’t.”

Scotty called the coaches to the field, and had the boy tell them what he had told him. The boy’s coach was a little taken aback, but knew that much more was at stake here than something as silly as who scored a run.

Scotty said “I know the rules. The umpire calls ’em, and a call like this can’t be changed. At this young man’s request, though, I’m going to ignore that rule. He said he’s out, well, he’s out. The score is 1-1. Play ball.”

I don’t know how the game ended, and I don’t really care. I wish I could be as honest as that kid. I would that we were ALL so honest.

–Howard

Nestle, get thou behind me…

A while back I mixed Nesquik and Carnation malted milk, and had a great chocolate malted milk. Recently I decided to pick up some malt powder, and realized that Nestlé owns Carnation, and was now selling Chocalate Malted Milk powder.

I bought some.

It is good.

It is, I might be tempted to say, TOO good.

In fact, as soon as I finish typing this, I’m going to go upstairs and have yet another glass, and it will be GONE.

–Howard

Bad Credit O.K.

Driving past a new subdivision in Lehi today, I saw a billboard with a short list of people with money problems who could be helped, presumably, by this developer and his generous lenders.

Bad Credit O.K.
Me: hey, that’s nice of them.

Bankruptcy O.K.
Me: Wow… that’s REALLY nice. And maybe fiscally irresponsible.

Self-Employed O.K.
Me: Hang on… *I* am self-employed. How is that possibly worse than BANKRUPTCY!?!?

And now, every time I drive past that billboard, I realize that I’m being subtly insulted. Rest assured, even if I were in the market for a new home, I’d not be considering one in that development. It’s going to be full of bad-credit, bankrupt, self-employed low-lifes.

–Howard

Coolest Schlock reader in the world…

I got this note yesterday in a Paypal donation:

Your Schlock helped keep me sane through my long stay at the South Pole Station. Thanx.

I emailed the donor back to ask, in essence, “are you serious?” I got this reply this morning.

Yup, a year and a day at Amunsun-Scott South Pole Station. Most of time there were no flights in or out. But for a little bit each day we had a satellite connection for web and phone access. Kinda nice to have something to look forward to each day on the web.

So, add an extra continent to the tally of where Schlock is read. Keep up the great work. And stay cool.

He tells ME to stay cool!? This guy was reading my comic IN ANTARCTICA. Incidentally, according to the survey, that puts Schlock readers on all seven continents.

–Howard