My shoulder hurt a lot this morning when I woke up. I think I mentioned that in a previous entry.

So… I took a Lortab and a Soma at 8:30am, and then walked to Church ahead of the rest of the family. Understand, this is in Orem, Utah, where pretty much any Latter-Day Saint lives within a short walk of their congregation’s meetinghouse. I’m no exception. I have to cross two residential streets, and I walk past 9 front yards (counting only those on my right side as I walk).

So… I walked to church, sat down in a promising looking pew, and waited for the medication to kick in.

When Sandra arrived 10 minutes later I was about to fall over sideways. We agreed that it might be best if I sat in the foyer on a comfy chair (typically used by nursing mothers and delinquent teenagers), stuck around long enough to take the acrament (Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, or Communion depending on your particular vernacular), and then walked home. Well, the Sacrament was passed to me, and I spent a few precious wetware cycles contemplating my relationship with God. Then I contemplated walking home, and realized that walking ANYWHERE in my current stuporous state was likely a bad idea, so I stayed put.

I fell asleep.

I woke up when the closing hymn was sung. I sat dazedly in place wondering if Sandra would come and get me, and then realized that she probably thought I was at home. I decided to venture forth from the increasingly womb-like comfort of that chair (note the subject line — “stoned in church”) and walked very slowly until I located Sandra. We talked about it, and determined that the easiest thing to do would rhyme nicely with “stay at Church.”

click here if you’re curious about LDS Sunday services

Hydrocodone is a much more effective sleep-aid than my usual poison, diphenhydramine citrate. It wears off faster, so that when morning rolls around I can greet it with clear-headedness.

I’m not taking Lortab (hydrocodone + acetaminophen) for help sleeping, though. I’m taking it to manage pain. Waking up clear-headed has its drawbacks — first and foremost, EVERYTHING HURTS. My shoulder hurts, by back and neck are sore, and my stomach feels like I was barfing all day yesterday. Since one of the side-effects of Lortab is nausea, I expect it’s doing something unpleasant to my gut, and when I wake up my poor belly is hung over.

So… right now I’m on zero drugs. I am very, very aware of my shoulder. I am aware of my shoulder in the same way that you would be aware of an 800-lb silverback mountain gorilla sitting in front of your refrigerator with a salad fork, the last of the Cherry Garcia, and your copy of Harry Potter and The Spoiler Which Must Not Be Named, should you be so unlucky as to have a gorilla wander into your home and adopt that position.

I’m afraid I need to take another Lortab. How else am I going to get past the gorilla?

–Howard

So… I got some coloring done this morning. Tomorrow’s installment of Schlock Mercenary will be pretty. I think I mentioned, though, that I was starting to hurt, so I took some ibuprofen and had a nap.

Well, following the nap and some lunch, I got started coloring the first week of Book V (Title To Be Announced On July 23rd), and I got achy again three rows in. I called chalain and both he and chaliren came by at around 3:00pm to take me shopping. See, the Taylers needed a grocery trip, and I’m unfit to either a) watch children, or b) drive. So the Chalaineys and I went to Wal-Mart and Costco for a few essentials, and I got to play passenger.

Since reflexes, response times, and general alertness were no longer critical to my participation in the endeavor, I took 350mg of Carisoprodol (generic Soma, a muscle relaxant). It’s supposed to relax me (duh), and will also make me drowsy. With my arm back in the sling, though, I figured it would be good to go whole-hog and let it loosen up some.

Chalain tells me I behaved uncharacteristically at the store. I figured as much. All I remember about the trip is that it was very crowded and I had a hard time keeping track of my friends. Also, the three things on my shopping list (milk, eggs, cottage cheese) kept falling out of my brain, and I had to keep checking the list to put them back in.

Most of that has worn off now. I finished coloring the first week of Book V and took another Lortab. At one point I thought I might try to do some pencilling or inking today, but I’m going to give that a wide, drug-induced miss, and while away my evening with the new Harry Potter book and some pills instead.

Thanks for all the well-wishing. In spite of the fact that I needed to get back on the pharmaceutical bandwagon today, I’m pretty sure we’re out of the woods here. I will be able to draw everything that needs to be drawn, but it may be Tuesday or Wednesday before I can really get a running start at it.

–Howard

I had a very energetic, almost-drug-free morning. The only thing I took was some Diet Dr. Thunder (Walmart’s generic Dr. Pepper analog). I spent an hour, though, making breakfast for the family instead of cartooning because Sandra needed the extra sleep. Then I got the requisite painting, cropping, and resizing done, and our internet connection went down.

All this was done with very little pain in my shoulder, but I did end up with a dull ache in my arm, probably from wearing the ice-pack for two hours straight. I also got kind of loopy-drowsy… I’m not sure why. Maybe it was natural pain-response endorphins. Regardless, I decided that was my cue to quit, so I popped 400mg of ibuprofen and took a nap for an hour.

I woke up and came downstairs to pizza, courtesy of my sister Alyson. She learned about my shoulder from the website, just like everybody else, and figured we needed a meal brought in. Hey, it can’t hurt, right? I had two slices of pizza, a little more medicinal caffeine, and here I am in front of the computer again, complete with an internet connection.

I’m taking it easy, doc. Honest. This is what “easy” looks like.

–Howard