I caught a cold. It’s not a bad one, but I’ve got the whole post-nasal-drip, no energy, low appetite thing going on. Oh, and I had to drive 3 hours to Pocatello in order to get the family out of town for Sandra’s birthday.

I crashed on a spare bed upon arrival (crashed me, not the minivan) and then went out to buy some diet soda and Vitamin C, so I could properly medicate myself for the weekend. Ahh, the magic of caffeine and ascorbic acid… two great tastes that fool me into thinking I’m not sick while my body works overtime fighting the yuck.

Speaking of yuck… I assume you’ve all seen Orville Necro-Redenbacher in his new commercial. No? Well, it’s frightening. They computer animated a new, hipper Orville so that the real popcorn magnate could remain in the grave without impacting the company’s bottom line.

And that raises the following question: which dead corporate icon is next? Me, I think Dave Thomas might be the next candidate for a return frome the grave, and I just hope Wendy’s can be convinced by Necro-Orville’s frightening demeanor that bringing Dave back from the dead would be a bad idea.

Ronald Reagan, however… they can bring him back. In fact, if you payed attention during Back to the Future you know that sometime before 2015 they WILL. They need to get started on the rest of those Jaws sequels, though.

The Very Quick Play-Count Meme

For this little three-question game you’ll need some sort of play-count record on your mp3 library. No guessing!

1) What’s the most-played track in your mp3 collection, and how many times has it been played?
“Promise” (radio edit) by Eve 6: 335

2) Divide that play count in half and round up. What’s the nearest song?
“Right Now” by SR-71: 172

3) Divide that play count in half, and round up again.
“Where’s the Walrus” by The Alan Parsons Project: 85

4) Care to explain yourself?
“Promise” was the very first track I bought from the iTunes store, and I listened to it a LOT. Lately it plays automatically in the morning as part of my “wake-up” playlist.

As usual, I’m already feeling better without the crap in my diet.

The basic rule is “keep the carb-count below about 30,” but the spirit of the law is “no refined foodstuffs.” I’ve had lots of cheese, fish, eggs, and some green stuff like lettuce, onions, and green peppers. Oh, and pickles. Love ’em. I’ve also had a couple of Atkins Shakes — they’re sort of a crutch. I like ’em, but “whey extracts” are, by definition, pretty refined.

And I’m down about four pounds from my start weight. I’ve been packing water (almost a gallon a day of assorted clear fluids, and very little soda), and peeing like the proverbial race-horse. I’m not sure the fat is exactly melting away from my body, but I feel pretty good. As usual, for this diet.

Except for the cravings. I want toast. I want oatmeal. I want to pack an entire bowl of sticky-rice into my drooling maw one dipped-in-curry fistful at a time. And so it goes. I settled for some low-carb masaman curry (sweetened with Splenda, and sans potatos) in a lettuce-wrap.

The funny thing is that when I’m hungry I feel GOOD about it. I feel like I can actually wait until mealtime to eat. It’s when I’m munchy that I run into trouble.

So… Day three, and it’s about par for the course. I’m doing a few calisthenics, and trying to work my way up to a full regimen of do-it-at-home exercises, but I’m still taking it kind of easy.

Once I lose another 8 pounds I get to treat myself to that big bowl of sticky-rice. But the bowl after that one is almost 20 pounds away…

Three weeks ago I decided that I REALLY needed to take off not only the 5 holiday pounds I gained but also at least 10 of the thirty I’ve been lugging around for the last six years or so. Ever optimistic, I decided to try the “don’t eat when you’re not hungry” diet.

Well, I’m not very good at it. I managed to lose the five, but it was very wobbly going, and in less than a week I managed to put about three of them back on. It’s probably a great long-term diet, and I expect it’s perfect for maintaining a healthy weight once you’ve arrived at one. But for now I have to admit that I’ve failed at it.

That’s just a data point. Back when I decided to lose weight I also decided that certain data points would require a change in strategy. Not losing the holiday five by late January was one of my pre-defined triggers, so as of today I’m low-carbing again.

A low-carb diet is really hard to maintain on a budget, but we’ve got a bit more money than we had the last time I tried this so it should be a bit easier. By default this diet cuts 95% of processed foods out of my meals, and I end up eating a lot more fresh vegetables (low-carb naysayers always come back to “what about vegetables,” and the answer is “shut up. I’m eating them.”) because they’re the perfect complement to the fish, chicken, beef, pork, and cheese that I’m subsisting on.

I also end up eating a lot of clear soup. Cheap, easy, filling, and you can drop all kinds of goodies in it for variety.

In the past my low-carb diets have been punctuated by carb-binges (usually fueled by an addiction to Nesquik.) I’ve kicked the Nesquik habit, and I think I have a handle on the “don’t eat when you’re not hungry” plan, so this time around when I think I just HAVE to have some carbs I’ll make sure I only have ’em when I’m hungry, and I don’t eat past “full.” This should allow me to do things like attend conventions and family vacations without stressing over the fact that the food is all starches and insufficiently tiny bits of dead beast.