“Kiki,” our barely-teenaged daughter, stayed home sick from school on Friday. She was overstressed, under-rested, and probably had a cold, so we let her sleep in and do homework.
And then I took her with me for all of my fun stuff all afternoon long. The message I’m sending? “If you don’t get your homework done on time, and don’t feel good, you get to have a big play-date with Dad.” I’m obviously a horrible parent.
We had a great time.
First, off to the movies. We met my friends Richard and Rodney before the show, and snacked on some fried cheese and onion rings. Kiki enjoyed The Day The Earth Stood Still, and enjoyed making fun of it afterwards. She liked it more than the rest of us did.
Next, Kiki, Bob Defendi, and I had a late lunch at the mall. She complained that Bob and I were boring. Bob? BORING? Man, I could talk to Bob all day and never get bored. But yeah, if I had to sum up our discussion with a title it would be “marketing principles for independent artists and creators,” and I can see how a thirteen-year-old girl might find that a little dull.
Next up we went shopping, quickly, for Christmas presents.
At 5:30 (we’ve been together now since 12:30… FIVE HOURS) we headed over to Brandon Sanderson‘s place where Kiki sat quietly while Brandon, Dan, Jordo and I recorded two episodes of our (hugely popular!) podcast “Writing Excuses.” The subject matter? “Theme” was the first one, and “Violence” was the second. Neither came out like I expected, but both came out really good. You’ll be able to hear ’em on the 29th and the 5th.
I asked Kiki if that was boring, and she said it was not. She also said that she learned stuff. So we had her record a stinger for “Writing Excuses” in which she tells us it’s safe for kids. I mean, if it’s not boring and you’re learning, it’s GOT to be safe, right?
By 6:45 we were at Dragon’s Keep, where Kiki was supposed to finish the last of her algebra and I was supposed to be playing in Bob’s “Echoes of Heaven” D&D 4.0 playtest campaign. She finished her algebra before we even really got started, but found other things there to interest her, including Katsy’s chain-mail-making. She also listened in on the game and enjoyed it. Bob told me later that if Kiki ever wants to come back she’s welcome to. She’s a lot more mature than at least one of the other regular players.
We got home by about 10:30 pm, tired, but not tired of each others’ company. I’m calling a ten-hour Daddy-daughter date that ends in that frame of mind an unmitigated success.
Even if I did send the wrong message about ditching school.
Never let school interfere with education. 😛
Never let school interfere with education. 😛
Theory of parenting be damned – sometimes a girl *needs* a day with her Daddy! Good for both of you; she’ll probably remember this day a long, long time.
Theory of parenting be damned – sometimes a girl *needs* a day with her Daddy! Good for both of you; she’ll probably remember this day a long, long time.
I think I’ve played with some adults less mature than a 13 year old.
My BIL plays RPG games with his 11 and 12 year old kids and has since before their last birthdays. He had to write out the rules of Player and Game Master conduct for their reference first though.
Ona
Howard of course fails to remind everyone that Kiki is freakishly mature. I enjoyed sushi with he and Kiki during the weekend of the Tub of Happiness shipping party, and also played a game of Order of the Stick in which Kiki participated, and let me tell you that I several times was struck by the thought “Not only is this kid mature, but she’s more mature than ME!”
Which, granted, isn’t saying a whole lot, but still… 🙂
I think I’ve played with some adults less mature than a 13 year old.
My BIL plays RPG games with his 11 and 12 year old kids and has since before their last birthdays. He had to write out the rules of Player and Game Master conduct for their reference first though.
Ona
Howard of course fails to remind everyone that Kiki is freakishly mature. I enjoyed sushi with he and Kiki during the weekend of the Tub of Happiness shipping party, and also played a game of Order of the Stick in which Kiki participated, and let me tell you that I several times was struck by the thought “Not only is this kid mature, but she’s more mature than ME!”
Which, granted, isn’t saying a whole lot, but still… 🙂
Sometimes, allowing a child to ditch school and have a good time is not a bad thing. She got her work done anyway, after all.
I’d love to be able to do this kind of thing for Emily but her attitude is “once means forever” and if I let her skip even once she’d be whining about skipping every day from then on. As long as Kiki knows that she can’t do it often, I’d say you were ok.
Sometimes, allowing a child to ditch school and have a good time is not a bad thing. She got her work done anyway, after all.
I’d love to be able to do this kind of thing for Emily but her attitude is “once means forever” and if I let her skip even once she’d be whining about skipping every day from then on. As long as Kiki knows that she can’t do it often, I’d say you were ok.
Did you send the message that this is not a regular occurance?
If so, I’d say that’s not the wrong message. It’s just a different message. Remember Admiral Bob’s advice from The Notebooks of Lazerus Long: Budget the luxuries first.
Just as with almost all of his advice, it’s deeper than the first impression would indicate. In this case, you know you’re going to indulge… so set the bounderies before you do so. It’ll keep you within the limits where you can “pay” for said indulgences… and these days, that’s a lesson almost everyone could stand to learn.
Did you send the message that this is not a regular occurance?
Several times. I also let her know that I knew I was sending the wrong message, and if she received it as transmitted she was in for disappointment.
The good news is that she enjoyed the evening at DK so much that I can offer it again as a reward for excellent performance in other areas — homework, chores, etc.
Did you send the message that this is not a regular occurance?
If so, I’d say that’s not the wrong message. It’s just a different message. Remember Admiral Bob’s advice from The Notebooks of Lazerus Long: Budget the luxuries first.
Just as with almost all of his advice, it’s deeper than the first impression would indicate. In this case, you know you’re going to indulge… so set the bounderies before you do so. It’ll keep you within the limits where you can “pay” for said indulgences… and these days, that’s a lesson almost everyone could stand to learn.
Did you send the message that this is not a regular occurance?
Several times. I also let her know that I knew I was sending the wrong message, and if she received it as transmitted she was in for disappointment.
The good news is that she enjoyed the evening at DK so much that I can offer it again as a reward for excellent performance in other areas — homework, chores, etc.
I did much the same thing with my two youngest kids on Sat. Only I had much different results. Oh, the day with the kids went great, but upon returning home the wife and I proceeded to have a huge fight which more than likely ruined the good mood from the rest of the day.
I did much the same thing with my two youngest kids on Sat. Only I had much different results. Oh, the day with the kids went great, but upon returning home the wife and I proceeded to have a huge fight which more than likely ruined the good mood from the rest of the day.