A package arrived today, wrapped in brown cardboard and a thick mixture of anticipation and foreboding.
I knew it to contain the advance copies of Schlock Mercenary: The Tub Of Happiness, but I did not yet know with perfect certainty that the copies were going to be, in a word, “shiny.”
I said as much to Sandra, but in different words. As she cut into the box I said “this is the moment where we either know it’s all going to work out, or we discover that we are well-and-truly screwed.”
You see, we opened pre-orders without having seen a real press proof of the product. We had plenty of other evidences (blank book, plotter proofs, digital prints, etc), but this was the first time the whole enchilada was going to appear on a plate, smothered in actual cheese sauce. If what showed up was actually corn husks baked in road tar, the Tayler Corporation was going to have to scramble to make good on a few tens of thousands of dollars of customer service.
That just doesn’t bear thinking about. So of course we opened the box before either of us could spin a proper “death of the business” scenario.
Hopefully in forcing you to sit through all this lead-in before I describe the books I have successfully enabled you to share in a measure of my trepidation.
Oh, the suspense.
The books are gorgeous. Everything is going to be okay.
We got five advance copies. One is for us to keep safe and shiny. One goes to Dragons Keep with me as a store copy for people to peruse. One will probably get handed to my kids. That leaves two.
I am going to turn one of those two into sketch edition 0001/1234, and then put it up for auction next week. This is because I am a soulless mercenary with a sadistic streak.
What of the last book? I don’t know… I just don’t know. There are so many worthy causes to which it could be contributed…