Journal

Ninety-Five Percent

16 Comments

In most cases, 95% is as close to 100% as makes no practical difference. Oh, sure, over time that 5% may add up to be a significant AMOUNT, but few people will quibble over it. Foods are advertised as being 95% fat-free (which means they’re 5% fat), students who score 95% on a test are happy with their “A” grade, and none of us want to catch one of those hemorragic fevers that kills 95% of those infected, because we know that even if we end up in the 5% category, we’ll still be miserable.

I just turned 38. That’s 95% of 40. It’s also 50% of 76, which is older (by two decades in my Dad’s case) than the last two generations of Tayler males.

But I’m not depressed. I’m happy. I’m a full-time cartoonist, and on the “survive to be 40 years old” quiz, I’m getting an A.

–Howard

16 thoughts on “Ninety-Five Percent”

  1. I am 103.75% of 40. You’ll be happy to hear, your aunt and your grandmother made it past 80… so quit yer bitchin’. So yah gonna get sterilized when you hit 40? I am trying to start a new trend…

    1. Okay, you’re allowed to bitch. I just woke up from my nap after an overnight shift. Filter wasn’t turned on. Still groggy.

      Happy Birthday!

  2. Okay, so I probably laugh out loud a couple of times a day on average, but not nearly enough by reckoning. That last line is awesome Mr. Taylor. Thanks for helping to edge up the average.

  9. I hit my 95% on Friday. But remember, at only 50% of the average lifespan, we can expect to stay in the 50% range for a while, as the average will hopefully get longer and longer. 🙂

    –Mav

  10. Ah, welcome to the “almost there but not quite” club. Do you ever find yourself scratching your head, saying, “Wait, didn’t I just graduate from high school? How’d I get to be OLD?”

    Or is that just me?

    Anyway, happy birthday!

  13. In high school I had a friend who’s birthday was Feb 29. We got quite a kick out of him only being 4 and being in high school.

    So when you get to feeling like you might be old… or worse, middle aged, count your ACTUAL birthdays only. 😀

    Happy Un-birthday, by the way!

  14. Oprah said that because everyone is living longer and healthier, that 50 is the new 30. Which seems to suggest that 30 would be the new 15.
    So, 38 is the new 19? According to the T.V., you don’t have to feel like a “grown up” if you don’t want to…

    Belated Happy Birthday!

  15. Happy Birthday mate,

    On Tuesday I will be 122.5%, but who cares, the real day to note for me is Monday 13th, this is the day I become a grandfather. My daughter will give birth to her daughter.

    Keep you posted.
    Chris.

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