I should never be allowed to comment on heartwarming news…

Link!

Upshot: Brigham Young University student Kim Yeoman, who suffers from spina bifida, got a chance to trek up a mountain — hauled by BYU football players and other volunteers. At the top end of the trip, which was organized by a visiting professor as part of an ongoing project funded by the Bureau of Land Management, she got to hold a sleeping baby black bear.

My Take: Heartwarming. Our distant ancestors would have done it differently, though. They would have hauled her up the hill and tossed her into the cave for the bears to eat.

See? I should never be allowed to comment on heartwarming news.

21 thoughts on “I should never be allowed to comment on heartwarming news…”

  1. Yes.

    You are right the spartans would of done that right after she was born. What good times we live in now that was don’t do that but keep people alive that are dead for years and kids like to kill each other at school.

      1. I think you’ve skipped over heartwarming and gone straight to heartburning. Well, no, I suppose that would be a pit of hydrochloric acid. Heartroasting might be you. Heartcharring, even.

        Way to live up to your username.

  2. Probably not on menu.

    Humanity is generally only the menu when a bear is *desparate*, just about anything else is preferred including berries or flower bulbs. Yes, early spring is when a bear is most likely to go after newborn moose and elk, but humans apparently don’t quite smell right.

    Much better would be some sort of pure carnivore like a mountain lion or (less likely) a pack of wolves.

    Randy

    1. Re: Probably not on menu.

      Indeed. When a bear attacks a human, it is almost always because the bear perceives the human to be trespassing on the bear’s territory or otherwise threatening the bear or the bear’s cubs.

      1. Re: Probably not on menu.

        Or if it’s being teased, i.e. feeding it part of a bag of goodies and then putting the rest in your pocket and expecting to just walk away. Duh, it’s bigger than you are!

      2. Re: Probably not on menu.

        Or if it’s being teased, i.e. feeding it part of a bag of goodies and then putting the rest in your pocket and expecting to just walk away. Duh, it’s bigger than you are!

      3. Re: Probably not on menu.

        I *presume* here that the Momma bear had already been tranquilized for this. Trying to do this with Momma bear awake would probably provide enough meat for the bear for several days. 🙂

      4. Re: Probably not on menu.

        I *presume* here that the Momma bear had already been tranquilized for this. Trying to do this with Momma bear awake would probably provide enough meat for the bear for several days. 🙂

      5. Re: Probably not on menu.

        My dad and brother went hunting a few years back with some of my dad’s friends. My brother and one of dad’s buddies are walking along, and my brother sees something across a dry wash.

        Brother: “Is that a bear?”
        Friend: “Naw, it’s a stump.”
        Brother: “You sure?”
        Brother: “I think it;s a bear.”
        Friend: “I already scoped it out. It’s a stump.”

        At which point, the “stump” jumped up and chased them across the wash and up a hill. I’m going to guess they went the whole way, screaming like little girls.
        I laughed forever when I heard that story.

      6. Re: Probably not on menu.

        My dad and brother went hunting a few years back with some of my dad’s friends. My brother and one of dad’s buddies are walking along, and my brother sees something across a dry wash.

        Brother: “Is that a bear?”
        Friend: “Naw, it’s a stump.”
        Brother: “You sure?”
        Brother: “I think it;s a bear.”
        Friend: “I already scoped it out. It’s a stump.”

        At which point, the “stump” jumped up and chased them across the wash and up a hill. I’m going to guess they went the whole way, screaming like little girls.
        I laughed forever when I heard that story.

    2. Re: Probably not on menu.

      Indeed. When a bear attacks a human, it is almost always because the bear perceives the human to be trespassing on the bear’s territory or otherwise threatening the bear or the bear’s cubs.

  3. Probably not on menu.

    Humanity is generally only the menu when a bear is *desparate*, just about anything else is preferred including berries or flower bulbs. Yes, early spring is when a bear is most likely to go after newborn moose and elk, but humans apparently don’t quite smell right.

    Much better would be some sort of pure carnivore like a mountain lion or (less likely) a pack of wolves.

    Randy

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