The Effete Barbarian, Outdone

This morning, while spooning gooey, soft-boiled egg-guts into my maw, Patches (the 22-month-old) began begging for “nummy egg.” I gave him a bite or two, but this three-egg breakfast was MINE, and he’d already been fed, so I didn’t give him nearly as much as he wanted.

I drop my shells into a bowl as a finish scooping them out. There’s a good 2/3 of the eggshell still intact when I do. So picture those shells.

I finish my last egg, push the bowl away, and begin working on a little bit of sausage. I look up to see Patches desperately licking out the inside of one of the shells, and making slurping noises while he was doing it.

What can I say? My barbarism has been outdone by the animal instincts of my toddler son.

2 thoughts on “The Effete Barbarian, Outdone”

  1. Barbarian?

    Have you considered clothing him in the Road Warrior ‘Ferral Boy’ outfit (bunny furs and boomarang)? Wife wouldn’t let me do up the daughter. And I’d already taught her grunt language. Bummer.

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