Da Funk

I be in da funk, yo.

Stupid Nesquik. I have no control. My first binge (Saturday) coincided with decent diet from the day before, so I was alright, but trying to maintain a sugar high for four days is a Bad Thing. Wednesday’s insomnia was disastrous, and today has been a depressing grind as a result.

So I’m experiencing chemically-induced doldrums. Snapping out of it is tough, and it’s costing me buffer. I should have had a week inked by Tuesday night, and I’m only a third of the way there on Thursday.

New rule: giving Howard Nesquik as a treat will earn you Negative Points. Bringing Howard some sushi, or maybe chinese food, or even a McDonald’s double-cheesburger? Positive Points. Actual fresh sushi may earn you a level-up, or maybe an extra life.

While I don’t expect this to be an issue often (few enough of you have the opportunity to treat me to ANYTHING), when it comes up, I’m sticking to my guns. You don’t bring a bottle of vodka to a reformed alchoholic, you don’t ply a cold-turkey smoker with a pack of camels, and you don’t bring me any more damn Nesquik. EVER.

Chalain, Liren, and Vermillion are forgiven for their enabling behavior at Fandemonium. They had no way of knowing.


46 thoughts on “Da Funk”

    1. Re: How about if we put it in LN2 ice cream?

      Ice cream is fine. I won’t over-eat on that. But leaving me alone with powdered nesquik and milk will not do me any good at all.


  1. I’m going to forgo a humerous reply here because I’m not kidding. I have to second Howard’s request. Please do not give him nesquik in any way shape or form, it only causes problems around here.

  2. It’s a good thing I hadn’t yet bought the Nesquik that I was going to give you at Linucon. 🙂 So, if you find time for sushi while you’re there, it’s my treat.

  3. aaaarrrrGGGHHHHH …

    Unlike Snakeman, I already had bought Nesquik tubs to haul down to LinuCon. Nice big ones from Sam’s, the kind that kids can use for percussion after you’ve finished the drinking. I use them for banks and for percussion.

    Off to start chugging …

      1. Re: aaaarrrrGGGHHHHH …

        I got that impression from the messages … thus the chugging. Need to build up that high to sustain me through DragonCon.

        You know, a couple of months ago I came back from a weekend birdwatching trip with five pounds of fresh Vidalia onions and a bag of mix to make fried Vidalia rings … because it’s one of my husband’s favorite treats. I start planning dinner that night, and he mentions “by the way, I’ve decided I’m too fat, so I started a diet today. I’m going to take it in stages and start by cutting out fried stuff.”

        ARGH. MEN! and their TIMING!

    1. Re: aaaarrrrGGGHHHHH …

      Donate ’em to the con suite. That way, if Howard wants a hit of nesquik, he can go get some (in milk) from the con suite, but he doesn’t wind up taking any home with him.

      I think the rule is don’t give Howard the uncut, powdered stuff. He can’t handle it. A glass pre-mixed is, well, evil, but not AS evil…


      1. Re: aaaarrrrGGGHHHHH …

        Please don’t put Nesquik in the Con suite on my account. Really, if it’s there, I’ll just make myself sick. Donate the stuff to the United Negro Chocolate Fund, or something.

  4. Damn, Caffine, Theobromine and Succrose. That’s a hard combo to kick. Good luck. (Yeah, I realize that in non-producer “enhanced” chocolate the caffine content is negligable, but it is still there.)
    good luck

    1. I’ve heard it both ways, and suspect that the only caffeine in non-enhanced chocolate is “equipment error,” where the theobromine trips the strip for caffeine just enough to show “trace.”

      I know I’ve got caffeine issues. It’s the SUGAR I need to do without. The problem with Nesquik is that it pushes me into a dietary mode where I try live on glucose, lactose, and the fat and protein in milk, and very little else.

      Kicking the habit is easy. Get it the hell out of my house, and go through “waaah, I want chocolate milk” withdrawals for a couple of days. Eating a good meal of real food solves that problem.

        1. I’ve tried the sugar-free stuff. It leaves a NASTY aftertaste in my mouth that sticks around for a day or more.

          It’s a good way to kick the habit, though. All I need to do is THINK about the sugarfree stuff, and I’m interested in eating Something Else.

  5. Not that I’m planning to giving you any Nesquik, but exactly WHAT flavor is the one that you’re addicted to?

    I have a REAL tendency to become addicted to things, so tell me so I can avoid it.


  6. Tsk tsk… How about milo?
    I’ve never been able to tolerate chocolate nesquik. Strawberry, however… well, that’s a different matter.

    Best of luck with the not-having-nesquik, I hope no malicious fans/enemies wave it in front of your face.

  7. I can sympathize…

    I’d probably react the same way if someone brought me a 12 pack of Mt. Dew. That would probably be gone in the span of about fifteen minutes.
    All through High School I was the self proclaimed High Pastor of the Order of the Daily Dew. Me and my friend we’d go through two cases (24 packs) in the span of a class period, each day. I was also famous at my work at the time for being able to buy one of those 10 pack boxes of Twinkies and a 2 liter of Mt. Dew and being able to chug 3/4 of the Dew and down 8 of said Twinkies on a fifteen minute break.
    I think the only thing that kept me level was the fact that my metabolisim is through the roof. Even now I still have an extreme tolerance to Caffeine, I only drink Coffee occasionally now and thats mostly because I like the taste. I’ve also slowly been kicking Coke (my other darker nemesis) and been mostly drinking water as of late.

    Oh and if you’re curious, I’m 5’6″ and 160 lbs, in High School I was 110. My metabolisim has slowed over the years, then again having a desk job where I sit for 8 hours a day doesn’t help much either…

    1. I’ve got you beat by 25 pounds…

      I’m 5’6″ and between 180 and 185.

      I could stand to lose at least 15, preferably 30 of those pounds. It ain’t gonna happen on the Nesquik diet.

      1. Re: I’ve got you beat by 25 pounds…

        I’m 5’9″ and 205 pounds. I could stand to lose 35 to 40 of them…as the whole world knows, by now. I don’t even have giving up Nesquik available to help.

        1. Re: I’ve got you beat by 25 pounds…

          Actually I’d like to loose about 25 pounds or at least change some of that to muscle.
          But I just have to get into the habit of working out now… Thats the toughie.

          1. Re: The winner, and still champion…

            6 ft and 308Lb+…
            comes from drinking Coke at college to be sociable….
            that was 25 years ago mind so it should be wearing off anytime soon….

  8. *makes a quick note*

    Invite Howard out for sushi for level-up. Got it.

    If you invite Howard AND Sandra for sushi, is that a level-up, or just bonus points? 😀

        1. I know a good Japanese place which tends towards ‘an arm and a leg’, but Howard could probably get his sushi… and for those not sushi-inclined, a nice Japanese-style steak. 😀 Those people LOVE their beef, and it shows.

          Of course, to go to the really GOOD places, I’d have to drag you both (and the rest of the clan) to Hong Kong… though that may have gone downhill some, depending on who you ask.

          *rubs his ring of Remove Curse* Besides, I’m prepared for curses. I’m still alive, after all. 😀

      1. Funny, I have never tasted any “fake” Mexican food (as in Taco Bell, or who knows what).

        Perhaps someday I’ll cook you guys some real mexican goodness. Heeeh ^.^

        1. The difference between the US and pretty much every other nation on earth, is that in the US you can get TWO versions of other countries’ native cuisines:

          1) The Real Thing.
          2) Commercially sanitized stuff.

          Chinese, Mexican, Italian, Sicilian, French, Japanese, Thai, Korean… you’ve got it all here. You just have to know which is “real” and which is not.


          1. And the really strange part is that we then sell the sanitized version the rest of the world, including the original country. The california roll is sold in japan. And not just to americans, either. The mind boggles…

            (And of course only Texas A&M could have invented the heatless jalepeno. Stopping to ask why is not a big part of the Texas A&M tradition…)


          2. Ah.

            Well, I gotta say that what I can cook is the real stuff. But I wish I knew a lot more stuff, my great-auntie was a famous cook in Oaxaca, one of the sources of truly delicious food in Mexico. *droools*

            Now, if it’s only Nesquik you’re addicted to (not the rest of the chocolate milk goodness) maybe someday you can try actual, real oaxacan chocolate. It’s done by melting some chocolate hard tablets in milk. The aroma and taste is what I believe Heaven is made of. If it’s not then I’ll work my way into Hell. 😀

            Damn, now I’m hungry…


          3. I’d hope you would be cooking some of the real stuff. 😀 If you were doing Taco Bell or Taco Time, someone like Sarevok would probably have to come chasing after you… 😀

            Damn, I wish they brought some of THAT up here – the Oaxacan chocolate, that is. I mean, there’s Belgian and there’s Swiss chocolate galore up here, but… well, some things you have to go to the original source for.

          4. Mexican chocolate

            There is this brand here, Abuela, from Mexico, that sounds like what you mean — round tablets, scored into eighths, mixed with sugar and cinnamon … you stir the pieces into milk while you’re warming it … oh, my, it is gooooooooood.

          5. Re: Mexican chocolate

            Oh yes, that is good. However, that is the processed stuff. The real oaxacan chocolate… that one is REALLY GOOD.


          6. Re: Mexican chocolate

            Damn you! Damn you and your rich Oaxacan chocolate that I cannot find up here, where the ice covers the ground six months out of the year! 😀

          7. Re: Mexican chocolate

            Note to self: Get rich so you can run down to Mexico to sample their chocolates, and then drag some back up to Utah before heading elsewhere.

          8. Re: Mexican chocolate

            Gifts of actual DARK CHOCOLATE are different from gifts of Nesquik. You’ll get points for dark chocolate, and this Oaxacan stuff sounds just shiny.

          9. Re: Mexican chocolate

            Amending Note to self: change ‘drag some back up to Utah’ to ‘drag a few pounds back up to Utah for the Tayler clan and deliver it quickly before heading elsewhere’.

            A man of good taste. I like that. 😀

  9. Part of the problem is that they put sugar in everything. I’m counting high-fructose corn syrup in that equation, which is even more evil because it’s just as bad without having the excuse of tasting as good. (I used to look forward to Passover when Coca Cola sells kosher-for-passover Coke that uses real cane sugar. Look for the different coloured caps.)

    Right now I’m having the most trouble with tea. I like black tea sweet and light, and 35+ (40?) years of an acquired taste is hard to break. What’s odd is that I never really liked iced tea very much, always seemed to have trouble getting the proportions right, but now I’m drinking it with nought but a few drops of lemon juice and I love it. It’s the hot tea I’m having trouble getting right. I even tried it with nought but a few drops of lemon juice.

    Right now I’m compromising: I’m taking my tea with honey instead of sugar, honey supposedly being better for you. I never liked honey before, but I’m starting to get used to it. has been doing something interesting. Instead of buying commercial chocolate additives (addictives? :), she’s been making cocoa milk (basically hot cocoa, only cold) for our younger daughter, and has substituted honey for the sugar. Mariel either hasn’t noticed or hasn’t commented, she seems to like it just fine, and she’s the picky one. Even I like it, though I usually limit myself to mooching a few occasional sips from Mariel.

    We’ve stopped buying Guittard semi-sweet chocolate chips by the 10 lb bag. Heh. Love those things, but they’re Truly Evil, in much the same way as Nesquik. Silkensteel and I have been buying bittersweet chocolate bars and eating one square a day each.

    Maybe when you get a jones for Nesquik you can try the cocoa milk trick. The fact that it’s more work to make might help keep you from going nuts with it. Or maybe it’s better to stay away completely. Me, I still take the occasional sip of my older daughter’s cola, but it’s just a sip. I think, for many people, letting yourself break the rule occasionally helps you keep it the rest of the time.

    One thing I definitely do not miss is the sugar crashes.

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