In my review, I said that explaining why I didn’t love Star Trek Beyond would require some spoilers. Here they are. Be warned: they’re spoilers!

1. The trailers have spoilers in them. Specifically, half of the moments that have actual tension in them are spoiled with trailer scenes that show the resolution of the event.
2. Space vampire as a one-shot plot-device.
3. The Ancient Super-Weapon trope.
4. Bad architecture. Like “uh-oh, this is going to cause a problem” bad, from the moment I saw it.

That’s about the extent of it. If you’ve seen the film, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t seen the film, and I haven’t yet spoiled it for you, perhaps I wasn’t clear enough¹: This movie features a space vampire who attacks a badly-designed space-city with an ancient super-weapon.

¹When I say “spoilers” I really need to deliver.