The Peanuts Movie

PeanutsMovieThe Peanuts Movie is weird, and I’m conflicted about it. I’ll lead with this: it enters my list at #16, just a hair shy of the Threshold of Awesome.

I doubt very many of you will feel the same way I do.

I was ready to walk out of the film 20 minutes in. We were getting perfectly executed Peanuts jokes in 3D, and I found that so incredibly boring it was almost physically painful. But I stuck around, and at the 40-ish minute mark something different happened, and I was interested again.

By the end of the film I was quite happy with it. I’ve never had that happen before. I’ve never gone from “I may walk out” to “I am SO GLAD I STAYED.”

Let’s get technical for a bit.

I love Charles Schultz’s work ethic, and his economy of line. I can stare at his line work for hours studying the way a nonsense squiggle becomes, in context, the delivery mechanism for a content-rich payload.  I was very concerned that this film would lose that.

I was happy to be wrong. The animators used the computer graphics to provide the context (heads, shoulders, doghouses, kites) and then used what I swear are digitized versions of actual Schultz-squiggles as mouths, eyebrows, and worry-lines. It was a brilliant melding of line-art and computer animation. I was mesmerized.

Most people won’t be. Lines aren’t really all that interesting unless they’re at the beating heart of your career.

Charlie Brown’s try-fail cycle is always kind of depressing. His best efforts are either wrong for the problem, or will be rendered irrelevant by something outside his control. The best kite-flyer in the world cannot compete with a kite-eating tree. Hours of practice kicking footballs mean nothing if the person holding the ball plans to betray you.

A story in which the protagonist continues to try in spite of this has power, and is worth telling. But Charlie Brown is always the punchline. Even his successes are ironic, and outside his control. I can only take so much of this. It’s depressing.

Well, The Peanuts Movie gives us an Act II Twist in which Charlie Brown gets the success he always wanted. This was surprising, and fresh, and even though I knew it couldn’t last, I was interested to see how a triumphant ending could be delivered.

Most folks don’t watch movies this way, deconstructing them on the fly. Again, this was something I really enjoyed doing, but that experience might not be there for you. Especially not now that I’ve told you it’s there. Umm… spoiler alert? Sorry.

The Peanuts Movie is a film for children under the age of ten, and it seeks to keep adults happy with nostalgia. Based on the reactions of the young children in the audience, it worked just fine. I heard a tiny voice exclaim “OH NO CHARLIE BROWN” in dismay, and you know what? That was kind of awesome.

Spectre

SpectreI’m trying to put my finger on why Spectre didn’t work for me. The salient point is that I spent much of the film being bored, so obviously there was a problem.

In Casino Royale we were shown a young James Bond who was unmade and remade by betrayal. In Quantum of Solace we were shown that the brilliance of Casino Royale may have been accidental. In Skyfall, we were given a deconstruction and un-making of Bond as a nice capstone for a trilogy of Daniel Craig installments in the series. It was the perfect book-end opposite Casino Royale. The two films deserved better stuff between them.

And now Spectre comes along and undercuts Skyfall. It is set shortly thereafter, and it tells us that these other Bond adventures were all connected to a single underlying conspiracy, a massive confederacy of hitherto undetected mega-miscreants whose nefarious plans and dastardly schemes are finally coming to fruition.

That’s a hard sell, and they tried to close the deal by giving us something just shy of a clip show.

It didn’t work for me.

Most Bond films are a series of Green-Eggs-And-Ham set-pieces. “Would you, could you, on a boat? Would you, could you, in the throat? Would you could you on a train? Would you hey we’re now in Spain.” And so on. The best Bond films mask this by tying everything together with a multi-layered mystery, with reveal after reveal drawing us into the new locations. The worst ones find us coming to our senses in the middle of an action scene and asking ourselves why we’re in Austria.

On to the good stuff:

  • Q gets the best line of the film. It’s such a good line that I can’t believe I’ve never heard it before. I wish I’d thought of it.
  • Dave Bautista is scary. He’s even bigger and scarier in well-tailored suits.
  • The two big explosions were cool.
  • The set pieces were quite pretty, especially the Día de Muertos costumed crowd scenes.
  • SpectreOSTThe music. (I bought the soundtrack, which I think I’ll enjoy much more than I enjoyed the film itself.)
  • If you love James Bond films, hey, look! This is a James Bond film!

Spectre enters my 2015 list at #21. Not awesome, not disappointing, and unfortunately not particularly memorable.

 

Taking Calendars off the Calendar

To quote Professor Farnsworth: “Good news, everyone! Bad news!”

We will not be producing a Schlock Mercenary Monthly Calendar for 2016. The 2015 calendar sold well enough with other merchandise to not be an outright loss, but the books and slipcases were what carried last year for us.

This year we’re looking at the Planet Mercenary production schedule, and we simply cannot justify taking time out to make a calendar when the project for which we’ve accepted money in advance is not yet complete.

We’re also delaying our print run of Schlock Mercenary: Force Multiplication until after we’ve got Planet Mercenary queued up for print. This hurts a bit more, because not having a new book out in time for Christmas shoppers is the very definition of “leaving money on the table,” but again, having accepted money in advance for a thing that is not yet finished, I cannot in good conscience spend time on other projects—not even profitable ones.

There’s an update over on the Planet Mercenary Kickstarter page if you’d like more details on how that project is going. The salient point? It’s keeping me busy enough that the only other business activity I can justify is the daily updates on the comic. The movie reviews? Okay, I can’t really justify those, except to say that going out to see a show helps refill the well on the other stuff, and I might as well tell you how the show went.

This morning was spent on Mayhem cards for Planet Mercenary. This afternoon I have a week of comics to pencil and ink. This blog post is happening in the cracks, and the crack is swiftly closing…

That DNS Thingy Yesterday

Yesterday there was a connectivity outage around one of our DNS name servers at bkwm.com. This wouldn’t have been noticeable to the general public, except unbeknownst to us, the hosting provider for the backup name servers had been blocking DNS traffic “for security purposes.”

The result? Lots of people couldn’t find schlockmercenary.com.

Sandra’s out of town, and this is something she usually handles. In her absence I panicked and decided to make matters inestimably worse by using her Dotster login (Dotster is where the schlockmercenary.com domain is registered) to point to different name servers.

This is something with which I had zero experience. Contrary to our wildest hopes, but to nobody’s actual surprise, I made an amazing mess of things, and motivated millions¹ of panicked readers to tweet at me, email me, or otherwise attempt a back-channel ping. The DNS servers I pointed at weren’t configured correctly, and simply pointed the domain at the parking page.

As of this morning I am an expert². Also, I did not get much sleep, and the work day I wanted to have yesterday was spent on urgency rather than importance.

The excitement accelerated a “skunkworks” project I’ve had Gary Henson of Plus 14 Ltd working on: x.schlockapp.com, a new engine upon which to build Schlock Mercenary on the web. He threw bandaids at things, nailed two windows shut, and then we pointed people at the under-construction site so they could get their Schlock fix independently of me getting DNS fixed. This means that site is no longer “skunkworks.” It’s out in the open, and it’s not really good for much besides delivering the comic³.

The salient point: DNS is working now. If you can’t find comics at schlockmercenary.com, caches need to be refreshed (some of which may be on your ISP.)

 

¹ dozens
² on the Dunning-Krueger scale
³ it is, however, an amazing piece of work, destined to be the greatest thing since ALT-code superscripts.

Writer, Illustrator, Consumer