Nuke Tom Smith.

Nuke him with MONEY.

Songwriter and performer Tom Smith was injured on stage in late spring. His livelihood depends on him traveling to conventions and performing, but now he is trapped in a wheelchair undergoing physical therapy.

He’ll be fine, but he is missing the 2008 convention season entirely, and is racking up medical expenses instead of income.

If you’ve been paying attention to sites other than mine, you’ve probably seen plugs for the Mr. Smith Goes To The Hospital fund-raiser from notables and luminaries like Randy Milholland, Phil and Kaja Foglio, Rob Balder, everybody at the FuMP, and Steve Jackson. The plugging, pleading, and exhortation has been drawn out across the summer in order to maximize the benefit to Tom, and it has fallen to me to go last.

I am, to quote Rob Balder, “the last nuke in the silo.” And that means YOU are my warhead. I’m just the delivery vehicle, expelling hot gas from one end in order to deliver you to the target. You are the collection of refined emitters which, when grouped properly, attain that miraculously powerful state called “critical mass.”

Unlike a plutonium pile, however, you will be rewarded with more than just a warm feeling for depositing your surplus energy on the target. You’ll get access to more than 40 covers of Tom’s songs by some of the best and funniest musicians he knows. Plus you won’t be annihilated.

Enough metaphor. Tom Smith needs you to donate some money, and I’m asking you politely to help him out. I like Tom a lot. He has given me smiles when I really needed them, grinning at me like a fool and hugging me within an inch of my life. His music makes me laugh, cry, and cheer exultantly in turn, and I want to make him as happy as he’s made me.

Here is the page with the donation button on it. Follow it, and send what you can. As an incentive, here is some free music: it’s called “Rocket Ride” by Tom Smith, and it’s being covered by the talented Steve MacDonald.

Listen. Enjoy. Donate.

Last year’s Advil overdose continues to plague me.

Here’s the back-story: I cranked out 1200 sketch editions in six days. It was grueling, and by day two I’d started taking Advil in prescription-strength doses. By day three I was overdoing it. By day four I had stomach cramps, so I started taking anti-diarrheal (loperamide) along with the ibuprofen. By day six I was wondering why food had lost its appeal. Doctor Google then informed me that while I was nowhere near the LD-50 dosage for ibuprofen (LD-50 means “lethal to half the people who take this much”) I was still taking far too much, and it was tearing up my GI tract.

All that work netted me $12,000 in sketch edition bonuses. If you’re ever asked to damage a body part for money, try to get more than I did. Also, try to make sure that you can cheat, and damage someone else’s body part instead of your own.

And now for current events:

Tuesday and Wednesday I worked really, really hard. I scripted, penciled, and inked a week of comics each day. On Wednesday at 3:00 pm I took two Advil pre-emptively. They reduce inflammation, see? Then at 8:00pm when my hand really started to hurt and my shoulder started to ache (whine, bicker, moan, mutter, grumble, murmur) I took another two. Between those two doses I had the equivalent of one prescription-strength dose.

Within 20 minutes I had stomach cramps. They stayed with me all night.

I’ve been taking it REALLY easy on Advil for the last YEAR. I don’t take it for headaches — I take Tylenol, which works differently. I only use it for inflammation (muscle pain) and then I only take half-doses. I didn’t have any problems with it until just now.

Apparently whatever minor damage I did last year has resulted in permanent weakness. Advil is now off the menu for at least two weeks, and if I find I really need the anti-inflammatory goodness of ibuprofen, I’ll have to limit myself to no more than two tablets per day taken one at a time no less than six hours apart.

In related news, Sandra has told me I’m only allowed to do 1,000 sketch editions. She has also suggested that I spend two weeks getting them done.We’ll see… I’m pretty greedy, and very short-sighted.

(cross-posted to webcomics and onlinecomic, although they didn’t get the handy FAQ)

Schlock Mercenary has finally embraced the promise of its premise and stepped into the twenty-first century. There is a Schlock RSS feed, and that feed is available to be “friended” here on LiveJournal at http://syndicated.livejournal.com/schlock_feed/profile. Those choosing to read the comic using this feed will be able to use LJ’s comment system to discuss the strip.

It’s just in time, too. On August 28th Schlock Mercenary will be celebrating strip number 3000 after 3,000 consecutive days of no missed updates, no fillers, and no guest strips. That’s just two weeks from now.

I needed SOMETHING to brandish jubilantly, and an RSS feed will do.

(Even though all the cool kids already have one.)

And now, the FAQ:

Q: What about ad revenue? There are no ads in the feed!
A: There is a “buy Schlock stuff” button under the comic. That ad pays really, really well. 🙂

Q: No, seriously. Aren’t you going to lose ad revenue from this?
A: I’ll let you know. I don’t think so, though.

Q: What isn’t included in the feed?
A: Well… it’s got the strip, it’s got footnotes, it’s got five buttons and two links to get you to appropriate places on the site… I’d say it has everything, but I know I’ve forgotten something.

Q: Why did this take so long? What were you waiting for?
A: I thought that RSS had to be built in to my updater engine. So did the two engineers I challenged with the project. This made it look daunting, to say the very, very least. Fortunately a bright guy named Mark Shieh came along and volunteered. He pointed out that the whole thing could be built independently. Then he went and DID it. And then when I dared to say that it was a great, and he could stop, and I’d wait for site updates before getting my “perfect world” feed, he rolled up his e-sleeves, dug back in, and made my “perfect world” feed. It didn’t take long. It took about three days. But we waited about three YEARS before properly starting the project.

Q: Is Blogunder Schlock included in the feed?
A: No. The blog has its own feed at http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/feed/, including a comments feed at http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/comments/feed/

Q: When will we see attorney drones again?
A: Right now, if you go re-read the archives in the correct places.

Q: When will Schlock Mercenary: The Teraport Wars be available for pre-order?
A: At the end of this month. I’m waiting until I have advance copies in my hands.

Q: You’re just making up questions now, aren’t you?
A: I’m trying to anticipate you people. It’s harder than it looks.

I bought Hero With A Thousand Faces as an audiobook today and started listening. I’m about 10% through the abridged version.

Some thoughts:

1) No, this isn’t going to ruin me as a writer.
2) The reading is kind of flat, but that doesn’t stop the prose from kicking my head in.
3) I get the feeling that for this material to be useful for a writer, he/she needs to read (or listen to) the book, and then keep a cheat-sheet around.
4) I’ve already read the cheat-sheets. It’s possible that the book doesn’t need to be read (or listened to) at all.
5) Except that the prose still kicks my head in. I tried listening while drawing… CAN’T DO IT. Campbell needs the whole brain.

In completely unrelated news, there is now a Schlock Mercenary RSS feed.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/SchlockRSS