Journal

The Blair Sauce Project

17 Comments

A few of you have called my attention to this article in the Online Sun (that paragon of UK journalism) about Blair’s 16-Million Reserve, which is hotter than Tabasco in the same way that stellar thermonuclear fusion is hotter than your bathwater.

I love hot sauce, but this stuff is beyond hot. It’s pure capsaicin (the molecule in peppers that reacts with your pain receptors, tricking you into thinking your mouth just caught fire), and the “16 Million” in its name is the number of equal parts of water you’d need to add to it before the “heat” flavor would vanish.

To put it in perspective, Tabasco rates around 2500 on that same scale. Blair’s Sudden Death Sauce (the stuff I mixed into the barbecue sauce I basted last night’s chicken with) rates around 60,000. Police-grade pepper spray rates around 3 million. In short, you’d have to DILUTE the contents of Blair’s 16 Million Reserve bottle five-to-one with aerosols and a liquid carrier in order to use it as a weapon.

So no, I don’t want you to buy any for me. Keeping this around the house as an additive for making foods spicier would be like keeping a metric ton of gunpowder, along with the accompanying brass and bullets, for purposes of home defense. Sure, it’ll last a long time, but it would be entirely too easy to accidentally kill everyone in the neighborhood.

17 thoughts on “The Blair Sauce Project”

  3. Pure evil, really.

    I was thinking about all the stuff you could do with this:

    A drop in a gallon of water would make a gallon of water that was as hot as jalapenos. Mmmm.

    You could swab a solution (any strength, really, even the jalapeno water above) on someone’s computer keyboard, let it dry, and watch the hilarity ensue!

    The disclaimer on that website was clearly written for another product. This stuff doesn’t contain any peppers. It’s pure extract. It is the crack of capcaisin. It is more than 100 times hotter than a jalapeno, it’s 3000 times hotter.

    I think the hot sauce fad is over now. Nowhere else to go. 16 million Scovilles is the top of the scale.

  4. Why “Blair” sauce? is it because it might make our beloved Premier stop telling porkies as a way of life? (sounds as though it would stop anyone telling anything until their tongue grew back….)

    1. because..

      blair is the name of the guy who came up with it.
      the “original death” sauce is pretty mild though…looking forward to finishing that bottle to move on to the “sudden death” and then, maybe, the “After death”.

  5. Goddamn, I want some of that…Wana talk about nasty squirt gun ammo? Or, even better, put it in some ones underware, or actually cook with it…Heh. Killer tacos. Literaly.

    1. No, no, what you want to do is put maybe a touch in heavily-diluted water balloons, each time you go biking. If someone tries to run you over…well, you know the rest.

      I do so very much want to know what capsacin does to paint jobs.

  6. Hmm… out of curiosity, have you tried “Scorned Woman” hot sause. A friend of mine, out of ignorance, added about half a bottle, IIRC, to his batch of chili he made at the Oregon State Fair when he was working there. He was in pain for days, and at both ends and the middle.

    1. Haven’t tried it, no.

      Sounds like it’s a 40,000 sauce, though. If it were as hot as Blair’s After Death or Dave’s Ultimate Insanity, a half bottle would have rendered the chili inedible.

      –Howard

    2. Scorned Woman

      I have tried Scorned Woman. It is excellent (Howard, I think you’d like). The scary thing is my Mom swears by the stuff. She got a bottle one year from a friend of ours as a kind of gag gift and has kept one full bottle on hand at all times ever since. This stuff is hot as all get out, but has a decent flavor to it too.

  7. Yow. I’ve used Da Bomb Ground Zero which is rated at 234 kiloscovilles and “one drop per anything” is about right – unless ‘anything’ is cup or spoonful. 16 Megascovilles? Too much.

  8. I hate to correct on this one, Howard, but Scoville units are in terms of sugar water, not just water. Sugar is the best thing for killing capsaicin in the mouth.

    Blame Food Network for the info.

  9. Hmmm…

    I find it interesting that in the same sentence Howard is telling us that he doesn’t want us to buy him any, he provides a link of where to get it. Sending mixed signals Howard? Doesn’t matter, I’m too poor to get it any way.

    Is this stuff legal to ship?

    $195 for 1 millileter. 1 teaspoon = about 5 millileters. I’m too lazy to figure out how this compares to things like silver, gold, etc…

    DILUTE the contents of Blair’s 16 Million Reserve bottle five-to-one with aerosols and a liquid carrier in order to use it as a weapon.

    At $195 a teaspoon is it worth it? I don’t know how much Police grade pepper spray costs.

    Dump it into 1 liter of sugar water and you get it down to 16,000.

    It would be a lot cheaper to buy the stuff you can actually use, heck on the same web site they have 1 Million Scoville Pepper Extract for $19.95 for 5 oz. Translates to about $134 for a liter. Personally 1 million seems way higher than you could reasonably use. Sad thing is I can’t afford $19.95 for ya either.

    Really this seems to me to be purely a novelty item.

    Finally, 5 oz = 147.867648 milliliter. So if we could find a way to refine it to pure capsaicin you would have 9.24 milliliters. Now how to do it?

  10. Geeze.. I hadn’t really thought about until now, but that stuff really is weapons grade material ! [and then some]

    Hmm, paintball gun, some water soluable gel plus some of that in the balls instead of paint, and you’d have quite an interesting weapon…

    of course, if people start using for weapons it’ll probably get banned pretty fast.

    1. They already sell OC dust paintballs to the police and military. Go full auto on a custom gun, and put the suspect, at ranges out to 150 yards, in the center of his own private 5 foot across cloud of hell.

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