The 8lb flat we bought at the store says “Strawberries * Fraises”.
I love strawberries, but I hate the green bits on top. Can I get the strawberries without those? You’d think there’d be a market.
–Howard
ps. Yes, I read French. But that doesn’t mean I have to eat those green frezzy bits on top of my strawberries.
As an experiment, I bought a package of peanut-butter-creme Double-Stuf Oreos. I had one bite of one, and decreed them “fit only for children.”
The children are eating them now. Patches, in particular, is eating them. He peeled the Stuf out of two cookies (the PB creme is firmer and less sticky than real Oreo creme) and used them to sandwich one Oreo cookie “cookie.” And then he looked up and me and said “Look! A sammich!” And then proceeded to eat it.
Obviously two times “double” stuff is “quadruple” stuff. But if you then HALVE the amount of cookie, what do you call it? Does the original ratio of Stuf to Cookie matter, or can the cookie and creme amounts be treated as variables, and the equation somehow reduced through Oreo Algebra?
Consider: If the original oreo cookie is represented by O(oreo cookie)=C(the two chocolate cookie parts)+S(stuff on the inside), then a double-stuf would be O=C+2S. Patches’ Sandwich becomes O=C/2 + 4S. Multiplying both sides by two, you get 2O=C+8S… which isn’t the same as “Octuple-Stuf” because you’ve got that “2O” hanging around on the left side of the equation. Solving for “Stuf” you get 2O-C=8S, and then S=(2O-C)/8, neither of which is especially helpful.
I guess the real question is “Do Oreo Cookie engineers get hung up on Double-Stuf algebra, or is it just me?”
Paraphrased for clarity…
Sorceror: “Why is the deck-hand glowing.”
GM: “Anybody with spellcraft knows that she either cast light on herself, or had it cast on her by somebody else. If she cast it herself, then she could dispel it.”
Sorceror: “So she’s a spellcaster?”
Me: “Maybe. Or a victim.”
Rogue: “I bet she’s a spellcaster, and she’s crazy.”
Deck-Hand: “You may be right. I may be crazy.”
Rogue: singing badly “But it just may be a LOOOON-a-tic you’re lookin’ for.”
All: laughter.
GM: Okay, back on topic…
Me: glaring at the deck-hand, whose apparently self-imposed illumination is spoiling our stealth “Turn out the light.”
Deck-Hand: glares back, begins to speak
Me: interrupting, and turning to the rogue “Don’t try to save me.”
All: more laughter
Me: Sorry… That had to be done. You can dock experience points if you want to.
The dog that ended a police chase by biting the fleeing suspect was not a police dog. No, the dog belonged to the fleeing suspect.
Next up on “when animals attack stupid criminals,” let’s have a man fleeing police on foot with a pet rattlesnake in his pants.