I read the following paragraph from this CNN article:
An executive at a heart disease charitable foundation who embezzled close to a quarter of a million dollars over two years to pay a dominatrix to beat him was sentenced Tuesday to two to six years in prison.
The first thoughts through my head were “You people are giving him exactly what he wants!”
*sigh*
When the masochist says “hurt me,” the sadist is supposed to say “mmmm…. NO.”
*coughs discreetly* From the point of view of a masochist I can say that in this case he’s probably not going to enjoy it at all. Kinky fantasies of prison scenes and real prison life are two very different things… *grins*
There are no “safe words” in prison, after all.
Not to mention the fact that masochists are often very specific about the type and circumstances of the pain they enjoy enduring.
Note that the person he was paying to beat him was female…
But then maybe once he’s introduced to the lifestyle, he will make a nice prison wife.
That’s why it’s hard for me to take a lot of ‘submissives’ seriously when they have a laundry list of specific scenes which they want to do, written out in excruciating detail, and won’t consider anything else.
I’d add more, but I don’t want to turn Howard’s lj into kink-central.
And for some, those “laundry lists” of hard limits are designed to avoid bad triggers. For an example, you would not want to slap me in the face. That’s one of the few things that will get me in full-blown rage very quickly. A scene wouldn’t be on my mind. Getting free and going for your throat in a non-fun way would be. And frankly, there’s no real “waiting till I’m calm” unless someone would send in someone else I’m not mad at to let me go while they make quick tracks to somewhere far away. That’s a pretty reflexive reaction on my part.
I don’t see anything wrong with setting hard and soft limits, or even either party writing up a script in detail of something they’d like to play out.
I get where you’re coming from to some degree though, the weekender yuppie type of subbies, who are to BDSM what perkygoths are to goffs and fluffywiccans are to pagans. They’re not actually interested in it, it’s just something they want to dabble in with all the bells and whistles so they can brag about being oh-so-hardcore.
Oh, I’m not talking about clearly defined hard limits–those I’m very in favour of. What I think is silly is the ‘sub’ insisting that the scene go to his specifications. That kind isn’t so bad if he can find a top who’s silling to do it, but it’s really not very submissive–more what I’d call a dominant bottom (it sounds like you’d recognize the distinction).
Oh yeah. ::nodnod:: those I consider bottoms more than subs. And even then…
I once read a book where the bad guy (A Masochist) was defeated by kindness.
“Never attempt aversion therapy on a masochist. The results are unpredictable.”
— Mark Pierre Vorkosigan, in Lois Bujold’s Mirror Dance
*sigh* HE’S JOKING PEOPLE!
Sheesh!
Actually, the TRUE sadist looks them in the eye and says:
“Maybe…”
Joke or not, I found the resulting conversation amusing, as do I your “maybe” comment.
When I found out I had a friend into masochism (shocked me completely, he didn’t seem like the kicky type) and he asked what I would do if we ever had an intimate relationship, I told him that I would verbally describe what I knew he wanted me to do and then tell him “not a chance”. Then I told him that I was so evil that I wasn’t even going to do the description part.
Needless to say, we kind of drifted apart after that and haven’t spoken to each other in years.
“You people are giving him exactly what he wants!”
An amusing thought but probably untrue. As mentioned by others (1) there’s no consent involved in any “scenes” he gets into in prison, just outright rape, and most people into kink are VERY into consent (including safewords); and (2) many kinky people have elaborate fantasies, and the chances that prison exactly matches what they want are low.
He is a horrible person for stealing money from people with heart disease, and he deserves more than just six years in prison.
RE: I guess I’m a sick person
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know I am but I am fine with that……….
A mathematical moment …
$250,000 / (365*2) = $342.47
A typical prodom session goes for $200 – $300 for an hour. (No need to trust me, you can check rates at a number of websites)
So he’s seeing a high-end dom for an hour every single day???
Being raped in prison will be nothing for this guy, he’s hard-core.
I really, REALLY don’t get S&M. But even MORE perplexing is that masochism seems prevalent enough that WE ALL KNOW ABOUT IT.
Sex is so damn weird.
I agree…
I had a roommate who was into the scene, and although I know a lot more about the BDSM community than I used to I still don’t understand it. When my roomie told me not to knock it until I’d tried it, I responded “I guess I’ll never love anyone enough to tie them up and hit them, even in play.” His response: “You just don’t get it….”