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502 and TMI

19 Comments

I just checked, and it would appear that five hundred and two of you Live Journal users have “friended” me. Cool! It seems like just last week I was happy to announce 400.

In other news, the last 10 hours have been awful. I hate, hate, HATE stomach flu.

So… on to the TMI…

By 11:00am today I knew I was sick. The diarrhea was my first clue. Then, by noon, I could tell that I was going to have to throw up.

(note: I TOLD you there was TMI behind the cut. If you’re reading this, and think it’s too much, well… don’t say I didn’t warn you. And yes, it gets worse before it gets better.)

For the record, I’m terrified of throwing up. I’m a control freak, and vomiting is one of those biological experiences in which there is no control. It also hurts, and makes a mess.

Well, around 1:30 I finally hurled. It was loud, and Patches (my 2-year-old) was walking right up to the open bathroom door when it happened. He ran away, terrified, thinking I was yelling at him so loud that my guts were coming out.

I almost suffered my worst nightmare… vomiting, while diarrhea-ing simultaneously. When it was all over, I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I felt like the “saw the lady in half” lady, only in the hands of a sadistic charlatan prestidigitator… complete with the sensation of separate saw-teeth tearing my innards apart.

The only bright spot in all this was Sandra. She was there with me for the worst of it, holding me, talking to me, and promising that seeing me green and gross would have no bearing on how much she loves me. She rounded up Patches and explained that Daddy was not angry (well, not at Patches, anyway). She disinfected the bathroom after each time I used it. She tucked me in, and brought me heating pads, blankets, and all the rest of the stuff I needed in order to hurt just a little less.

I love this woman a LOT. You love those whom you serve, and we’ve been serving each other through thick and thin (the diarrhea qualified as “thin”, oh yes oh yes) for 12 years now.

I spent roughly 10 hours in a bed in a back bedroom at my in-laws’ house. I’m keeping fluids down now, but I still feel like I was hit by a truck.

So… I’m going to have to cancel the various Livermore-area schlocker activities tomorrow. While it’s POSSIBLE I’ll be well enough to play, and POSSIBLE that I won’t be contagious, I’m not one for taking those kinds of chances.

19 thoughts on “502 and TMI”

  1. I used to have the same control-freak aversion to vomiting, until my years in the Coast Guard, going out in seas that smart people avoid, taught me the important lesson that you often feel BETTER after calling Ralph about your Buick on the porcelain phone than you do if you don’t take the call.

  3. As a long time vomiter (grow up in Mexico City.. you’ll learn all about puking) I have to say there is nothing more horrifying then both vomiting and having diarreah at the same time.

    The only instance I’ve ever had to experience ended with me curled up in the fetal position in the shower as I cried.

    Truly, if there is an evil afterlife, I experienced a small glimpse of it.

        1. It was a life experiance I didn’t particually want either…

          Actually, it pretty much defined my personal limits of hell, and simultainously gave me something to wish upon my worst enemies… but then I’m just that evil sometimes.

          1. The only time I’ve had that was when someone spiked my Coke at a wedding…the next day I had the mother of all hangovers, I thought I was dying…and I didn’t care…

  4. Ugh, yes, I hate stomach flu. Hate hate hate. Sure it’s over relatively fast, but it can be so damn scary. You can’t even keep the fluids down, you start getting all morbid about it (at least I do, but I’m good at melodrama), and it’s so bloody /exhausting/.

    For some reason, I’ve gotten stomach flus at least once a year for the past couple of years. It’s not cool. I still can’t stand chinese because of the one incident, because at the time I thought it’d been food poisoning from the chinese place I’d had dinner at. That and the MSG didn’t taste too great coming back up.

    In any case, the worst should be over, at least (I know, knock on wood). Rest up, and you’ll feel fine soon enough. I sympathize greatly.

  5. Yeah, I done that. That simultaneous diarrhea and nausea is a sort of Dirty Harry feeling, isn’t it?

    “Ok punk, which one’s it gonna be? Do you feel lucky?”

    (Note: skip the chicken salad in Cairo, Egypt. Trust me. I walked in the door at home and collapsed into a no-sheet delirious fever. THAT was freaky.)

    But basically, you have to decide ‘ok, which do I rather want to clean up?’ So the end result was sitting on the pot holding a bucket…I figured that vomitus was rather more sterile and less smelly than the intestinal ejecta. Also, vomitus is less infective than the diarrhea.

    Joking aside, hope this helps. Is anyone else sick? Has anyone else called with these symptoms? Because this is beginning to look like food poisoning, and not stomach flu. What did you and Gleek eat?

    Cheers,
    Guapo

    1. Hallucinations + sickness = FUN!

      delirious fevers are interesting. I’ve had one that I can remember and at the time it occurred I was reading War and Peace to pass the time (I was in high school and we had no TV 😛 ).

      Let me tell you, reading War and Peace while under the effects of a stomach flu so bad that it’s making you hallucinate is one interesting experience. Try reading it when you’re feeling just fine some time. Then imagine reading it while your mind is having trouble deciding what you’re imagining and what is real. Blarg.

      Anyhow, sorry you’re sick Howard. Stomach flu is the worst. There’s really nothing to do but wait for it to go away. Here’s to hoping it goes away FAST.

  6. Well, a story like that deserves another.. similar experience..

    When I was in the Corps, I used to party… alot.. to extremes unheard of by man and Marine before or since..

    During that time, I vomited.. quite alot.. to the point that I nearly perfected the fine art of projectile vomiting.. It got to the point that if I knew I was going to hurl, I could pop up the lid on the Porcelain God, sit 2-3 feet away, and not miss a drop..

    Yeah, I know.. Impressive, right?

    But I’m a decade older now, and I haven’t even tried that in 8 years, so don’t ask me to perform at the next Con I see ya at.. I don’t plan on getting nearly that intoxicated. ::grin::

    Hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Did you hurl up anything that reminded you of one of your characters?

  7. Ever had a CAT scan? They give you this dye to drink which is distilled from liquified pig anus, and if you manage to get that down without puking all over the place, immediately after the procedure (you hope you can make it that long) you’ll have heinous diarrhea squirts that smell of- and I’m not kidding- burnt popcorn.

    If you have a weak stomach, you probably shouldn’t read the preceding paragraph.

  8. Ew.. ew… ew… (but you did warn us.)

    Hope you feel better.

    (Though bewarned: if this continues happening, your close friends and family might be demented enough to present you with a “care package” of various single-dose medicine packages. At least that’s what happened to my father a few years ago.)

  9. oh man! that hit my family a couple of weeks ago. I know what you mean about serving each other. My wife and daughter are the loves of my life!

    I really hope you get to feeling better soon!

    Hopefully, by now, the worst has passed. Just remember to keep taking fluids if you can.

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