I am a menace to salespeople

So an advertising salesman walks into The Dragon’s Keep and strikes up a conversation. Turns out he’s selling internet advertising — local businesses buy a spot on this site, and consumers come along, look at a page full of logos, and click on them in hopes of uncovering clues for winning $1,000.

I ask him how many page-loads they get per day. No data. They’re brand new.
Ah, a brand new local company. I ask him about funding, and no, he doesn’t know who the investors are, but yes, he thinks they’re VC funded. Oh, cool. They might have money I can tap.
I ask him where they’re advertising their site for launch. The answer? Billboards, TV, Radio, and football games.
I explain to him that I’ve tried to double-click on billboards, and never yet succeeded. I further explain that Google (and lots of other internet advertising companies) can sell ad space based on the consumer’s IP address, so that only locals are seeing the ads. He says “wow, I didn’t know that.”

I look at the sample image map, and see a field cluttered with logos. I ask what the screen resolution is for the screen-cap. “The what?” is his answer. I explain the question. “Oh. That’s something I need to go find out.” Then I get to rephrase the question for him so it’s meaningful to his web developers.

So… a salesman walks into The Dragon’s Keep in the hope of selling a couple hundred bucks of ad space to the owner (who is not in.) He walks out fifteen minutes later having been told how his employers should be running their business, and why they should be buying advertising from me.

The best part? This was done in front of an audience of DK regulars. The general consensus after the salesman left seemed to be “Howard, you should not be allowed to do that, but we’re glad you did.”

20 thoughts on “I am a menace to salespeople”

  1. And, Howard, that’s why yours is one of the creme` de la creme` of webcomics that actually MAKES money…because you’re smart and you have a good mind for business.

    1. Reminds me of that “advertiser” who was trying to get in touch with me by e-mailing you, Amber. Damn but I’m glad I researched the company to find all the complaints against them….

  2. And, Howard, that’s why yours is one of the creme` de la creme` of webcomics that actually MAKES money…because you’re smart and you have a good mind for business.

    1. Reminds me of that “advertiser” who was trying to get in touch with me by e-mailing you, Amber. Damn but I’m glad I researched the company to find all the complaints against them….

  3. 1) Hey, it’s not your fault if the guy wasn’t sufficiently prepared to sell his product.

    2) This whole scheme reminds me of all the get-rich-quick web-ad schemes circa 1998, back when people were still figuring out what internet advertising was worth. Anyone remember the Million Dollar Webpage?

      1. Oh, okay. There were definitely some odd attempts to make money like that early on, though. I remember some sort of “money tree” thing where you had to guess the correct pixel on their image map, and click it – and the image map took you to a page full of ads. Silliness like that.

  4. 1) Hey, it’s not your fault if the guy wasn’t sufficiently prepared to sell his product.

    2) This whole scheme reminds me of all the get-rich-quick web-ad schemes circa 1998, back when people were still figuring out what internet advertising was worth. Anyone remember the Million Dollar Webpage?

      1. Oh, okay. There were definitely some odd attempts to make money like that early on, though. I remember some sort of “money tree” thing where you had to guess the correct pixel on their image map, and click it – and the image map took you to a page full of ads. Silliness like that.

  5. That just made my day. Thanks for the laugh Howard I know I wasn’t the only one who needed it. But I will have to agree with the audience’s reaction 🙂

  6. That just made my day. Thanks for the laugh Howard I know I wasn’t the only one who needed it. But I will have to agree with the audience’s reaction 🙂

  7. Why shouldn’t you be allowed to educate a salesperson? They generally need all the help they can get, and it seems clear that this particular one definitely needed some guidance about what they were trying to sell. Keep up the good work!

  8. Why shouldn’t you be allowed to educate a salesperson? They generally need all the help they can get, and it seems clear that this particular one definitely needed some guidance about what they were trying to sell. Keep up the good work!

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