3,000 Strips: No, I Don’t Remember All Of Them

Just last week I was scripting and I used the phrase “revoke metaphor privileges.” It made me giggle, but it sounded familiar. I worried that maybe I was stealing from somebody.

Turns out I’m stealing from me. I decided to run the line anyway. In the linked instance above it’s the punchline. In the upcoming script (three or four weeks out, I forget) it’s the setup for a different punchline.

And the point, long since lost by now, is that I’ve now posted 3,000 installments of Schlock Mercenary to the web in 3,000 days. No, I’ve never missed a day. There have been no guest weeks, no two-for-Tuesdays to cover a missed-it-Monday, and no stretches where I hurriedly threw together a week of Ennesby and Schlock doing plot exposition because I knew I could get seven days of that penciled, inked and colored inside of four hours.

Okay, maybe that last one has happened. At least twice. Still, nobody called me on it.

We’ve all changed a lot in the last 3,000 days. Politics, global economics, and science have all done interesting, disappointing, wonderful, and terrible things in turn. But more importantly most of us have gotten 3,000 days older, and at least 250 days wiser. Some of you have told me that you have practically grown up reading this comic strip of mine.

Three thousand days is longer than any American President has sat in office since 1944. It’s long enough for a bull market to become a bear market, and then back again three or four times. It’s long enough to turn a 9th-grader into a college graduate, or a college graduate into a surgeon.

It’s long enough for Sandra to create two beautiful children from scratch and send them off to school. It’s long enough for me to start a marketing career, excel in it, and then abandon it.

It’s long enough for me to start getting a handle on the basics of writing and illustrating a comic strip. It’s also long enough for me to have figured out how to pay the bills with a comic strip I’m still just exploring basic principles with.

3,000 days is a long time, but it’s not long enough.

I want 10,000 days. That’s 28 years, give or take. I’m not setting that as a maximum, mind you. I’m just holding out for permanence in this particular career. I want us to be able to look back on these times and remember the best of them fondly, while forgetting the worst of them in favor of remembering our favorite punchlines.

Which I will almost certainly re-use.

54 thoughts on “3,000 Strips: No, I Don’t Remember All Of Them”

    1. It appears that Howard took the number of days in a year (365.25) and divided by 10. That does give a result of 36.525, but I’m not quite sure what it means. It is a nice number, though.

      Maybe his AI is being wonky?

      1. In my defense, that post was written at the end of the day. The inspired formula lept to mind unbidden, so of course I didn’t bother to open the calculator.

        36.525 years is 13,000+ days. If I were asking for 10,000 in addition to the current 3,000 that formula would have served me quite nicely…

        1. Works for me! Keep on comicing . . . drawing comics? What is the verb for committing comic mayhem, anyway? Schlocking?

          And as long as I’m pestering – I’ve been watching a series on sumie painting (Japanese ink painting) and one of the points that teacher has been making is to understand the steps – first you draw this part, then you add these twigs (leaving blanks for the next step), then you draw the blossoms, then you add the accent lines. What’s your process? I know you’ve mentioned scripting – script, blue line, figures, background, dialog bubbles? Or . . . Idle wonder, but I am curious?

    1. It appears that Howard took the number of days in a year (365.25) and divided by 10. That does give a result of 36.525, but I’m not quite sure what it means. It is a nice number, though.

      Maybe his AI is being wonky?

      1. In my defense, that post was written at the end of the day. The inspired formula lept to mind unbidden, so of course I didn’t bother to open the calculator.

        36.525 years is 13,000+ days. If I were asking for 10,000 in addition to the current 3,000 that formula would have served me quite nicely…

        1. Works for me! Keep on comicing . . . drawing comics? What is the verb for committing comic mayhem, anyway? Schlocking?

          And as long as I’m pestering – I’ve been watching a series on sumie painting (Japanese ink painting) and one of the points that teacher has been making is to understand the steps – first you draw this part, then you add these twigs (leaving blanks for the next step), then you draw the blossoms, then you add the accent lines. What’s your process? I know you’ve mentioned scripting – script, blue line, figures, background, dialog bubbles? Or . . . Idle wonder, but I am curious?

  1. Congratulations. That’s a huge accomplishment. The only other guy I can think of who might possibly have done 3000 comics in a row, seven days a week for over eight years, is Bill Holbrook… and I’m not sure whether he’s been as steady with the updates as you. Probably, but I dunno.

    Point is, you’re in lofty and rare company. Stratospheric, even. And that’s not even starting to consider the level of quality you’ve maintained.

    You’re a bastion of excellence and consistency in comics. Thanks for all the Schlock.

    1. User Friendly (JD Frazer) goes all the way back to November 1997 (c.f. June 2000), and I think it’s similarly “Iron Man” daily unbroken. There’s some company up there.

      The difference is that, after eight years, Shlock is still funny (I disagree with WebSnark: telling the same joke for eleven years is not the same as being consistently funny for eleven years). And Howard’s art skill has improved over that time period.

      Anyway, enough of that—congrats Howard. With my memory, I’m not likely to spot a punchline recycled from thirty days ago…

  2. Congratulations. That’s a huge accomplishment. The only other guy I can think of who might possibly have done 3000 comics in a row, seven days a week for over eight years, is Bill Holbrook… and I’m not sure whether he’s been as steady with the updates as you. Probably, but I dunno.

    Point is, you’re in lofty and rare company. Stratospheric, even. And that’s not even starting to consider the level of quality you’ve maintained.

    You’re a bastion of excellence and consistency in comics. Thanks for all the Schlock.

    1. User Friendly (JD Frazer) goes all the way back to November 1997 (c.f. June 2000), and I think it’s similarly “Iron Man” daily unbroken. There’s some company up there.

      The difference is that, after eight years, Shlock is still funny (I disagree with WebSnark: telling the same joke for eleven years is not the same as being consistently funny for eleven years). And Howard’s art skill has improved over that time period.

      Anyway, enough of that—congrats Howard. With my memory, I’m not likely to spot a punchline recycled from thirty days ago…

  3. Man, I remember the excitement at 2000! 🙂 Congrats!

    And now you can embarrass your kids whenever they’re asked about what you do for a living, you’ll be proud but they will probably think you’re a dag. Remember it’s the gift that keeps on giving and one of the cheapest pot shots you’ll ever get 🙂

  4. Man, I remember the excitement at 2000! 🙂 Congrats!

    And now you can embarrass your kids whenever they’re asked about what you do for a living, you’ll be proud but they will probably think you’re a dag. Remember it’s the gift that keeps on giving and one of the cheapest pot shots you’ll ever get 🙂

  5. Dude? You are The Man. You have seized your dreams and turned it into your flying car. And if at times you need to get under the hood and tinker with things and a couple times just toss in a quart of oil rather than do a full oil change, your flying car hasn’t suffered for it.

    I hope you achieve your distant dreams. And I hope I’m there reading still in over twenty five years. ^^

    Rob H.

  6. Dude? You are The Man. You have seized your dreams and turned it into your flying car. And if at times you need to get under the hood and tinker with things and a couple times just toss in a quart of oil rather than do a full oil change, your flying car hasn’t suffered for it.

    I hope you achieve your distant dreams. And I hope I’m there reading still in over twenty five years. ^^

    Rob H.

    1. What, you mean creating a billion-dollar-a-year empire in which I don’t actually have to draw things?

      HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITHOUT DOING THAT?

      1. What does it profit a man if he should gain the world but lose his soul author a comic that hasn’t been funny in years? 😀

        Besides, I’m sure there are classes at the Machiavelli Institute that cover World Domination Without Authoring Unfunny Comics. Me? I’m going the Turning Social Collapse Into Political Power way.

    1. What, you mean creating a billion-dollar-a-year empire in which I don’t actually have to draw things?

      HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITHOUT DOING THAT?

      1. What does it profit a man if he should gain the world but lose his soul author a comic that hasn’t been funny in years? 😀

        Besides, I’m sure there are classes at the Machiavelli Institute that cover World Domination Without Authoring Unfunny Comics. Me? I’m going the Turning Social Collapse Into Political Power way.

  7. And it seems like only yesterday you joined Keenspot and I was mindlessly ranting on IRC channels about “Schlock being schlock.” Ah, good times.

  8. And it seems like only yesterday you joined Keenspot and I was mindlessly ranting on IRC channels about “Schlock being schlock.” Ah, good times.

  9. I wanted to start chanting “7,000 more days!”, but it just doesn’t have the same ring as “4 more years.” And I want a lot more than 4 more years.

  10. I wanted to start chanting “7,000 more days!”, but it just doesn’t have the same ring as “4 more years.” And I want a lot more than 4 more years.

  11. As it happens, I did start reading as a ninth-grader, and I am now a college graduate (even changed majors and took an extra year). Congratulations, and many thanks!

  12. As it happens, I did start reading as a ninth-grader, and I am now a college graduate (even changed majors and took an extra year). Congratulations, and many thanks!

  13. It’s long enough for Sandra to create two beautiful children from scratch and send them off to school.

    Y’know, I don’t think she’s gonna let you foist this one entirely off on her. Especially not once they start driving, and/or reach other parenting-worry milestones…

  14. It’s long enough for Sandra to create two beautiful children from scratch and send them off to school.

    Y’know, I don’t think she’s gonna let you foist this one entirely off on her. Especially not once they start driving, and/or reach other parenting-worry milestones…

  15. It is every person’s privilege to steal from themselves; I do it routinely, especially when I write. 🙂 But I also steal borrow from any work that has been around enough to be taught in the universities as a “classic”.

  16. It is every person’s privilege to steal from themselves; I do it routinely, especially when I write. 🙂 But I also steal borrow from any work that has been around enough to be taught in the universities as a “classic”.

  17. I started reading this comic about six months a go. I loved it from the start. You’ve easily surpassed all the other fourty-or-so comics a I read as my favorite. One of my biggest problems with comics is that they don’t update anywhere near often enough. That I still have that trouble with your comic, but its the one that satiates me the best. Interesting story line, compelling characters, actually funny jokes, and action that is rarely matched much less surpassed by any other comic. Keep it up, I’ll keep reading as long as I can see, and as long as you keep writing ’em.

  18. I started reading this comic about six months a go. I loved it from the start. You’ve easily surpassed all the other fourty-or-so comics a I read as my favorite. One of my biggest problems with comics is that they don’t update anywhere near often enough. That I still have that trouble with your comic, but its the one that satiates me the best. Interesting story line, compelling characters, actually funny jokes, and action that is rarely matched much less surpassed by any other comic. Keep it up, I’ll keep reading as long as I can see, and as long as you keep writing ’em.

  19. I congratulate you Howard. You’ve consistently shown that it is possible to meet deadlines and while producing marvelously creative content. There are very few comic artists who can make such a claim.

  20. I congratulate you Howard. You’ve consistently shown that it is possible to meet deadlines and while producing marvelously creative content. There are very few comic artists who can make such a claim.

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