Yet another bad review…

I spent the afternoon and evening at Dragon’s Keep yesterday after the “movie.” I wrote my movie review at the Keep, trying out passages of text on innocent (?) bystanders and friends.

After a while I got thirsty, and realized I needed to go fill my 64-ounce mug at 7-11. While there I was tempted by a “1/4lb bratwurst and cheddar” hot dog.

I’ll make this short. DON’T MAKE MY MISTAKE. I’ve had bratwurst. I’ve had cheddar. The thing that Raj helpfully slipped into the bun was made of neither. It tasted like beef jerky and cheez-whiz. I was hungry enough to finish it, but I shan’t be getting another. (Unless, of course, it’s FREE, it’s the only food available for miles in any direction, and I’m withering in the last stages of starvation. At least that way my death will be quick, as the jerked cheez-whiz stops my weakened heart.)

–Howard

(the slurpee was fine)

12 thoughts on “Yet another bad review…”

  1. I have never found a cheese filled meat tube that ever lives up to the expectation of yumminess. I think once somebody decides to combine the two, they assume they don’t need any quality because it’s got cheese AND a meat tube AT THE SAME TIME! Who wouldn’t want that? It’s kind of like putting blood and boobies in a movie. Often when the two are combined in one movie, you are guarenteed a foul taste left in your mouth and a leaden, clentching agony in your gut. And both times your wallet will slap you for making it pay for those things.

    1. Sounds a LOT like the movie Hostel…

      Blood and boobies… a discription I made of the movie Hostel myself last night, though I liked Hostel. Of course, I don’t get to see many movies, so what do I know…

  2. Not having much luck with the “consumer” role lately, eh? Good thing your “artist” role is still going on strong.

    1. Well, the Slurpee was just fine, and Raj only made me pay 79 cents for 64 ounces of the stuff. Maybe he felt sorry for answering “yes” when I asked him if the jerky-cheez-whiz dogs were any good.

      –Howard

  3. Heresy!!

    Those cheddar-stuffed “brats” are to me what Genuine Immitation Ovalqwik is to Sergeant Schlock!

    I’m gonna have to go up to Utah to get some now, as my local 7-11 stopped selling them, replacing them with some disgusting chicken-dog thing.

  4. Possibly you got a ‘bad’ brat. Or it’s entirely possibly (and probably more likely) you’ve a more discriminating pallette than I. I love the things, and they’re consistently out of them at my ‘local’ (only 35 miles away from home) 7 Eleven. Dr Pepper slurpees and Brats, thank heaven for 7 Eleven.

    I will admit that the chedder brats aren’t as good as the smoked sausage and chedder hot dogs they had before were. I literally lived on that stuff for a while.

    1. I agree, at least about the smoked sausages. Those were awesome. I can’t say I ever had the cheddar hot dog, though. I hope to try one of those some day.

      I tell you what I really miss, though. Breakfast bites. Those were pure awesome in a bun.

  5. So, who’d you cheese off?

    Your incidental life is becoming a litany of horrors, one of those “stranger than fiction” stories we all hear in slack-jawed disbelief. Maybe the almost-but-not-entirely-unlike brat-and-cheese thing was payment for voluntarily subjecting yourself to that movie.

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