Well, as long as I can’t sleep…

I had a dream last night (or maybe it was yesterday morning). I was using my Compaq M300 laptop, and the machine downloaded a hardware patch of some sort, and then installed it without permission from me. This patch installed a four-inch “side-car” to my laptop, extending the screen to the right, making the screen touch-sensitive, and adding a numeric keypad next to the keyboard.

It also came with a coupon allowing me to trade in my M300 for something that looked suspiciously like an iBook, and that had a touch-sensitive screen and all sorts of other coolness.

Naturally, I decided to forego the trade-in and uninstall the “patch” because it was preventing my computer from fitting into its bag.

And then I woke up.

And I’ve been awake pretty much ever since. Stupid insomnia.

16 thoughts on “Well, as long as I can’t sleep…”

  1. You know, some day in the future, it may be possible to download (and somehow “print”) hardware patches like that. That would be nifty.

    Have you read Neal Stephenson’s Diamond Age? Part of the basic conceit of the book is a network of matter replicators that can download patterns and build things at nanoscale from raw matter.

    1. Attack of the “Webcam Viagra Fiends” makes a kind of cool story, really.

      …and of course the first thing that comes into my mind is spyware that takes advantage of this… “feature”.

      Great. Now my (hypothetical) teenage daughter’s laptop for some reason has sprouted a webcam without her knowledge, and my (actual, but hypothetically older) dad’s latest model laptop just tried to maul him, for some reason spouting advertisements for Viagra and Cialis. We had to beat it to ‘death’ with a stick.

      I can’t wait.

        1. Re: Attack of the “Webcam Viagra Fiends” makes a kind of cool story, really.

          Of course, now, I’ve got this line in my head:

          The toaster, a little shook up by the beating we gave it, crouched low on its little legs. It began to vibrate, threateningly.

          It didn’t help that I was thinking about teledildonics when this line popped up.

          1. Re: Attack of the “Webcam Viagra Fiends” makes a kind of cool story, really.

            Is that line from something? Because Google and I don’t recognize it and it sounds like it would be more than interesting.

          2. Re: Attack of the “Webcam Viagra Fiends” makes a kind of cool story, really.

            No, it was improvised. “Interesting,” you say?

            I was leaning more towards “Appalling,” myself.

  2. I have insomnia as well. Mine is purposely drug induced though. At work, so I have to stay awake.

    Your dream means you are having problems with inadequacy… or you are coming down with something.

    While your awake, entertain me!

  3. Future movie idea?

    I want to claim dibs on movie rights. Of course Howard would have all the say, but a partnership wouldn’t be amiss.

    On the other hand, just a laptop with that sort of stuff would be rather neato. Hmmm.

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